“The family has COVID”
“Oh, okay”
2 days later
Sister sends me a screenshot of a Facebook post in which my mother’s in the hospitalBecause if there’s anywhere you should share your private medical issues, it’s on a for-profit website that tracks and sells literally everything you do online, and won’t even show it to the people who you wanted to share it with.
Facebook Nowadays: “Oh, you want to see what your friends are up to? Too fucking bad. Here’s a thousand pictures of Sylvester Stalone, and 900 ads.”
“Son I’m going in for cancer surgery tomorrow. Everything will be fine… take care of your father, you know he’s basically useless on his own.”
Literally 2 days ago. Don’t worry, she’s fine.
Mom did this to me also. On the same day of her radical mastectomy. I had no idea she had breast cancer.
The surgery went ok at least.
Probably didn’t know how to tell you she might die. They really don’t give you much advice on how to talk to people… in my case it was literally a grade school style fill-in-the-blanks in-case-surgery-leaves-you-a-vegetable tell them we can have your organs work-book.
But also likely a bit of narcissism… I’m sorry. Nobody she find out that way.
Cancer charities such as McMillan’s will tell you. Obviously the hospitals went and even if they did they’d probably charge you for the service.
Assuming went=wont… I’m still not following. Cancer charaties will tell you what?
They have guidance on how to talk to people about it. The hospital may or may not have counselors on staff but if they don’t you can always talk to the charities
My dad on 2 separate and unrelated occasions.
Him. Almost recovered from my surgery
Me. Wtf what surgery.
Him. I put it on Facebook
Yea I found out from my server at a restaurant that my cousin killed himself. She was his friend. It had been months since it happened and no one told me that he passed, even though I saw my family recently. Fucked up.
People get really weird about suicide. Almost like they think talking about it will incentivize others to kill themselves.
there is a phenomenon known as “suicide contagion” or “copycat suicide,” where exposure to suicide can lead to an increase in suicide rates.
Typically this occurs with media, like when a celebrity is in the news for suicide, but I believe there is still a relationship in just talking about it, especially in younger folks.I’m not saying there’s nothing to that but it seems to me that if the mere mention of suicide in just about any context is enough to send you over the edge then you were pretty close to falling off already. I find it difficult to attribute much to something like that.
Exactly. It doesn’t increase suicidal thoughts, it just reminds some that it’s an answer to their thoughts. The solution is reducing the stigma so that people can talk about them freely instead of bottling them up until they reach that point.
Yea I think my parents and uncle’s side are just old school and don’t like to talk about tough subjects.
Apparently it actually can, which is why news reports are careful about it and it shouldn’t happen in TV soaps or fictional dramas often
Linda always brought those awful jello molds to family events, so maybe there’s a silver lining.
It’s because they post everything on Facebook and I don’t go on Facebook.
My parents do this all the time. “Yeah, we just came back from the funeral, it was beautiful.” So apparently my aunt died. “Oh yeah, we thought it wouldn’t interest you”.
At the same time, they call me to tell me “So, Henry had to go to the hospital, he’s in a bad state. We though you’d want to know.” So apparently someone from their neighborhood who I never met or heard of has some bad health.
BTW, this could be an intentional thing to try and convince you to move back to the local area.
There’s that one famous Reddit story recently about someone who’s family went as far as not telling her about a major funeral and then gaslighting her when she realized and didn’t drop the issue.
Here’s one for you. I would absolutely swear I talked to my second cousin Wilfred at my grandmothers funeral, for ten or twenty minutes, got all caught up. A year later, mom mentions something in passing about Wilfreds’ funeral. I ask what happened, and that’s when I learn Wilfred died 5 years before of pneumonia, and was buried in that sane cemetery. I has been living on the coast and no one told me.
I never saw that one - do you have a link?
Dude that’s wild. My mother in law is kinda like that but doesn’t last that long. She usually gives up on the ignoring after about a month or two. Last year we got to do our own thing for July 4th because she got mad at us for having a scheduling conflict for an event she didn’t bother to tell us she had voluntold us to help out at. She didn’t tell us about it, and we had prepurchased Renaissance Faire tickets and a hotel near the faire
I found out my mother had HEART SURGERY two weeks ago when my sister sent a weird “she’s out of the operating room and I recovery” message, I thought she meant her mother in law and was informing my parents on the family group text, since my parents know her a lot better than I do.
Nope. It was my own mother, and nobody told me about a surgery they all knew about 6 months in advance.
Jesus, I’d be so upset, but I guess also relieved. Why is this so common?!
idk i’m this way. Although that’s mostly because i hate socializing and interacting. You probably won’t know when i die until 4 months pass and you realize on a whim that you havent seen me in an awfully long time, only to find that i don’t respond.
Such is life i suppose. (for some people at least)
That makes me wonder if lemmy has a death notice community like reddit’s r/deadredditors
Honestly I have no idea.
And its not just my immediate family either.
When my grandfather died, nobody in my family had been told he was having anything done until that morning, so we scrambled to visit him. There wasn’t any huge problem, but any time someone in their 70s is in the hospital, especially for a surgery, it’s cause for concern.
And its a good thing we did because he bled out during the surgery, which was supposed to be a minor surgery in his lower abdomen.
Facebook brain damage
!foundthenecromancer
Oh, everything’s fine now, …
I wish. Nope, nothing like my family.
… but two weeks ago she was murdered.
Nevermind, this checks out.
Here’s my sister giving me some serious news about a family member.
Omg, thank you for sharing.
I hope my pain brought people joy.
You shouldn’t ask both sides of a yes-or-no question. Especially to a moron.
It wasn’t even a yes-or-no question!!!
“Was it this guy? Or the other guy?” = “Yes”
That’s two separate yes-or-no questions.
“Was it this guy?”
“Ye-”
“Or the other guy?”
“Yes.”
All she had to do was specify between the two. She did not. I had to get the info from someone else.
But then again, I’m probably the fool for assuming her common sense is at least baseline.
It was Paul!
That’s a hilarious exchange 🤣
I was about to go over there and give her a medical emergency.
I’m definitely telling my brother I’ll hit him with my car next time he’s difficult
Wield it like a baseball bat. That’ll teach him!
Maybe she was the one having a stroke lol
I can feel the frustration through the image. Hope Paul’s doing ok, once you figure out which one.
He’s doing better now, thanks!
But my dear sister is still the same, unfortunately.
I am experiencing the same frustration while you reply but still haven’t told us which Paul
Yes.
Yes
I’m dead. How is anyone this bad at delivering crucial information?
They both had a stroke.
I have an Aunt Linda, and my reaction would have been about the same. “Meh.”
She happen to live in North Carolina and had a particularly nasty divorce in the 90s?
No idea, I haven’t seen her in like 35 years. She’s probably dead, but if not would be about 82 years old.
I was studying abroad so I came home after a year found out my father had a stroke and no one told me.
My sister causally told me couple weeks back that my uncle died 6 months ago.
Mom didn’t tell me she got married and was pregnant while I was in college. I talked to her almost daily then…
