The key is to use the app that is popular in your location.
Attitude is a huge factor, think of it just like meeting random people, maybe having great discussions, maybe having an excuse to go to event with somebody, having a good adventure. No pressure no expectations. If you have a plan people love to join the plan. So the initial swipe match game is what it is. You can have a friend with a good camera take some nice photos, you can show interesting places, interesting things, let the app choose your most engaging photo for you automatically.
When you talk to people find something interesting about them, ask them questions about it, have your own agenda, invite them to events you already have planned and no big deal if they don’t go. Surprisingly most people want to go and see what this cool thing you’re doing is. And then from there you know you can build up.
The dating apps are just a meeting place of people who are interested in meeting people. If you treat it like that, just like a happy hour, you’re going to have a great time
No interesting hobbies? Have you been to interesting places? If no, do you want to change that? I know, it sounds boring to go alone, but it usually isn’t.
Let me give you a different perspective, actually. It doesn’t matter as much that you do interesting things. What matters more is you manage to be funny and appear laid back enough that people won’t be put off. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned anything in my profile that was a genuine interest. I answer any question as a joke, any time I send an opening message I try to make it a joke I find funny, and that usually works.
Remember: those apps are banking on you staying on the app and spending money on Longer you’re there, the more likely they can get you to spend some money. Their business isn’t to successfully get you off the app. It’s to keep you on. So before you ever get too discouraged and down on yourself, remember that you’re working upstream against a soulless corporation.
So you spend your entire day either working/studying or staring at a blank wall?
Btw, it doesn’t really matter if you do something actually interesting, it’s the attitude that counts. I’ve tried doing the same thing/going to the same event with different people, some very positive and outgoing, and some very negative, and the experience has been very very different.
If your attitude is “I’m not interesting, and I don’t do anything interesting” then guess what, you won’t be interesting to anyone around you. Btw, going to the pub for a beer can be very interesting. Walking somewhere can be interesting.
Then what am I supposed to do? Every time I go to walk alone or eat alone guess what I feel worse than being in my room. And it’s been for year now. Trust me when I’m telling you this: is not Interesting.
Then you need some friends. On the how to acquire one, there are a few ways. One of the most effective outside of school or work is to join some club, some class or some sport activity. For instance, I joined a latin dance class lately (salsa, bachata) and I’ve met lots of very friendly people. Every Friday they also organize a night out to some local clubs to dance, and there you can meet lots of other people with a similar interest. It’s just an example though, pick something interesting, join a group of people etc.
You just need to be proactive. Staying all day in your room commiserating yourself is definitely not sexy
I’m the boring nature type, I don’t have anything in my name, live with my family, but I’m loyal and respectful enough with the people I care. Isn’t that enough?
Harsh truth: No, it’s not enough. You have to convince somebody that their life will be better with you in it. Loyalty and respect are requisites for a good romantic relationship, not the reasons to get into one.
Another harsh truth that I learned from existentialist writers, especially Albert Camus, is that we are cursed with freedom. How we choose to deal with what the world gives us is entirely up to us, and refusing to choose is also a choice. If we choose not to try to be somebody worth having as a partner, well, that is a choice.
I also understand depression, and that making that effort may not be possible. Then, healthy alternative is to affirmatively make the choice not to try, and to own it. Sometimes, people call this, “owning your shit .” Paradoxically, it helps a lot by putting you back in control of your own life, instead of feeling like the universe’s chew toy.
I use tinder, it’s been really good for me.
The key is to use the app that is popular in your location.
Attitude is a huge factor, think of it just like meeting random people, maybe having great discussions, maybe having an excuse to go to event with somebody, having a good adventure. No pressure no expectations. If you have a plan people love to join the plan. So the initial swipe match game is what it is. You can have a friend with a good camera take some nice photos, you can show interesting places, interesting things, let the app choose your most engaging photo for you automatically.
When you talk to people find something interesting about them, ask them questions about it, have your own agenda, invite them to events you already have planned and no big deal if they don’t go. Surprisingly most people want to go and see what this cool thing you’re doing is. And then from there you know you can build up.
The dating apps are just a meeting place of people who are interested in meeting people. If you treat it like that, just like a happy hour, you’re going to have a great time
Upvote for actually giving (I think) useful advice and adjusting expectations.
I don’t have anything interesting to show unfortunately.
No interesting hobbies? Have you been to interesting places? If no, do you want to change that? I know, it sounds boring to go alone, but it usually isn’t.
No and no. There’s nothing I’m interested or interesting here anyways and I can’t move out since I don’t have money.
Let me give you a different perspective, actually. It doesn’t matter as much that you do interesting things. What matters more is you manage to be funny and appear laid back enough that people won’t be put off. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned anything in my profile that was a genuine interest. I answer any question as a joke, any time I send an opening message I try to make it a joke I find funny, and that usually works.
Remember: those apps are banking on you staying on the app and spending money on Longer you’re there, the more likely they can get you to spend some money. Their business isn’t to successfully get you off the app. It’s to keep you on. So before you ever get too discouraged and down on yourself, remember that you’re working upstream against a soulless corporation.
I’m not a funny person unfortunately. And I don’t see that fact changing, is my nature. I’m serious and don’t laugh at jokes that often.
So you spend your entire day either working/studying or staring at a blank wall?
Btw, it doesn’t really matter if you do something actually interesting, it’s the attitude that counts. I’ve tried doing the same thing/going to the same event with different people, some very positive and outgoing, and some very negative, and the experience has been very very different.
If your attitude is “I’m not interesting, and I don’t do anything interesting” then guess what, you won’t be interesting to anyone around you. Btw, going to the pub for a beer can be very interesting. Walking somewhere can be interesting.
Then what am I supposed to do? Every time I go to walk alone or eat alone guess what I feel worse than being in my room. And it’s been for year now. Trust me when I’m telling you this: is not Interesting.
Then you need some friends. On the how to acquire one, there are a few ways. One of the most effective outside of school or work is to join some club, some class or some sport activity. For instance, I joined a latin dance class lately (salsa, bachata) and I’ve met lots of very friendly people. Every Friday they also organize a night out to some local clubs to dance, and there you can meet lots of other people with a similar interest. It’s just an example though, pick something interesting, join a group of people etc.
You just need to be proactive. Staying all day in your room commiserating yourself is definitely not sexy
Unfortunately there’s no activity about the things I like. Also I’m broke.
Should we examine your profile?
Your username here is blow me, how is your dating app presence?
Are you putting up any red flags, without realizing it?
I’m the boring nature type, I don’t have anything in my name, live with my family, but I’m loyal and respectful enough with the people I care. Isn’t that enough?
I’m not even physically ugly.
Harsh truth: No, it’s not enough. You have to convince somebody that their life will be better with you in it. Loyalty and respect are requisites for a good romantic relationship, not the reasons to get into one.
I guess that is it.
Another harsh truth that I learned from existentialist writers, especially Albert Camus, is that we are cursed with freedom. How we choose to deal with what the world gives us is entirely up to us, and refusing to choose is also a choice. If we choose not to try to be somebody worth having as a partner, well, that is a choice.
I also understand depression, and that making that effort may not be possible. Then, healthy alternative is to affirmatively make the choice not to try, and to own it. Sometimes, people call this, “owning your shit .” Paradoxically, it helps a lot by putting you back in control of your own life, instead of feeling like the universe’s chew toy.
So, listen to me or not. It’s your choice.
The world is shit and I’m done. I understand.
Do you understand? Do you own that decision as your personal choice? I ask because posts like this one indicate otherwise.
Nope, you need to actually meet people, do stuff, talk, go places etc. Simply existing and “being nice” is not enough.
Then I’m done.