Bad news, you’re still alive, broke and sexless.
Five years ago, I was in the middle of a pretty big change, so it would have been a well timed message.
“Things are going to get rough, but it’ll all work out. You made the right choice.”
Party hearty. Humans will be extinct by 2030.
Hold it together man
“It was worse than you imagined.”
And this is why you never have drunken sex with your crush.
Things will get better. It’s absolutely worth it in the end. Do your best and have fun.
“You are not lazy, you have CFS/ME. Half the people won’t believe you and the other half won’t care.”
Spend as much time with your friends as you can. They may not always be there. It’s hard when they go, but you’ll get through it.
(If I’m allowed to change the future, I’d tell myself exactly which friend died, when, and how.)
He got the cancer screening in time, but you might want to get it earlier.
Plot twist in one sentence. Nice. Also, how are you doing?
Recovering pretty well. I’m beginning to take the next steps to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
“Everything happened exactly like you thought it would. Just like always…”
That is a very interesting response. It sounds like the opening line to an interesting novel.
I’ve always had an uncanny ability to predict future events.
I’m not saying I’ve got special powers and can see into the future I’m just really good at noticing patterns and gaining conclusions from those patterns.
And humans are very predictable.
You put all your money on Super Bowl winners Chiefs in '20, '23, and '24, Buccs in '21, and Rams in '22. Present and Future me is wildly rich.
Future me tells past me a lie to make past me act differently and make it truth.
“Please exercise more and get in shape”.
