I completely stopped caring about 2 years ago, I realized I was never going to do anything with my good look and that I will never get into a relationship in my life, so I just figured out “what’s the point then, I’m already invisible to women?” And I don’t care about my health tbh…

Since I don’t have kids or my own family I could just disappear and nothing would happen. No, I’m not thinking about extreme stuff to end my life, I just stopped caring and now eat a lot and drink.

If I’m going to be alone and feeling sad, at least let me eat something good and greasy. Still, I’m just 100 KG at 34 years old right now, just skinny fat… For now.

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      22 days ago

      You and me both.

      Not too many years after that nightmare, I was perfectly capable of enjoying thru-hiking, carrrying exactly same weight anyone else would have been, moving at same speed on rough terrain, etc. Still couldn’t run a mile - or much shorter distances - in my wildest dreams. Didn’t matter, I was in exactly the shape I wanted to be in, for the things I cared about.

      Can’t do it anymore, my body widely conspired against me in various ways, but glad I was capable of it and have the memories. If I had been able to run a mile, but not hike any distance with weight, I’d be alot less happy about what I had achieved at that point.