Turtles are SURPRISINGLY FAST and also have SHELL ACCESS so every Linux geek should appreciate them
We have geese here and basically come in during spring and literally take over. They are all over the beach, shit on every grass patch and generally have attitudes when you walk by. Some even posturing up like they are going to charge.
They are the assholes of the bird kingdom. They sit on roof tops and beak off from 4am to 7am, honking like a meteor is headed right for us.
They are unlovable!
Just because they do not take shit from humans and are violent avian insurrectionists that absolutely will ruin your day doesn’t mean they are unworthy of love.
Those most needing of love are the hardest to love.
I’m from Nebraska and volunteered for them a few times and I feel like they’ve probably got a rough position being as Nebraskans seem to hate wildlife in every context but hunting and fishing.
They’re also citizens, native-born.
Imagine how elections would go if animals coukd vote.
Perhaps we should have designated human voters to represent animals.
In the Netherlands, we have a political party to represent them. It’s called the Partij voor de Dieren (Party for the animals) and they’re a green left wing party.
Geese make a great defensive line.
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You can bribe a guard dog, you won’t bribe a flock of geese. The owner will know you are there, and there WILL be blood!
The thing with geese, is that they’re not loyal to anyone. They’re playing for their own team.
Geese saved Rome!
(Of course, having the city infested with geese instead of Gauls might not have been a particularly preferable outcome for its citizens, but at least they were already used to the geese, inasmuch as one can get used to geese.)
Oppossoms are better than merely smart. They eat HELLA PEST INSECTS!
now, Geese…
Geese are fiercely protective of their families and flocks and are amazing at guarding territory; they cannot be bribed or ingratiated. In brazil, a prison has provided a habitat for geese around the facility between the inner fence and the outer wall which has been surprisingly effective at discouraged escape attempts.
and are amazing at guarding territory
Can’t be bribed? What if you could get a clutch of goose eggs to imprint on you? Then you’d be part of the family and invincible with your goose army! You could go goose-stepping across the continent!
Let’s make a deal:
You go ahead and try to get close enough to a clutch of goose eggs that you can incubate them to hatching;
I’ll point and laugh as their parents and all the other geese in the entire flock swarm you in a solid frenzied wall of honking, hissing, biting, bludgeoning, implacable white-hot incandescent fury.
You are proposing to fuck with a force of nature, my friend. I can’t stop you. But they can. X3
Since they’re just outside your home, you make a hole in the wall and build a nest box inside it. Eggs get laid in there. When hatching day nears, you toss food over the wall to tempt mom off the nest for a minute. As soon as she steps away, you slam down a portcullis and take over childcare on your side of the wall. Later you and your goose tribe raise the portcullis and march forth together.
Of course, it could fail disastrously.
You ever do a desk pop?
I get the reference but it is odd that you connected this to that.
How is it odd? They’re having a tuna vs lion debate.
I know you posted jokingly, but I can’t help myself.
Geese lay their eggs in fairly open spots on the ground, typically near water (often barely out of the water in my experience), not really ever in nest boxes (I’ve never heard of them using a covered/enclosed space for nesting, and we have tons of them around here). They want a clear view of their surroundings, and ready access to water for their hatchlings. The females incubate and the males stay near to guard the nest, because they like to be exposed, and are mean as hell as a direct result of their nesting behavior.
You’d be better off just buying fertile eggs and incubating them wholly independently, but they likely wouldn’t be accepted into the wild flock if they aren’t hatched by one of the flock, even if they are initially incubated by one. I mean I’m not super sure if geese “adopt” other goslings, as they are mostly self-sufficient within a few days, but if they do I doubt they would be fully strangers like they would be if you swipe them.
I mean I’m not super sure if geese “adopt” other goslings
Not sure how close duck behavior is to goose, but I watched a mama duck assault the ever-living fuck out of a duckling following her until it ran off cheeping furiously and hiding in a bush. I assume that it was part of another nearby clutch as there were a lot of ducks in the area, and she was having none of it.
Subscribed! More Goose Facts please!
The only other really cool one I’ve got is that occasionally (like it’s only been reported a handful of times sort of thing), they will use an abandoned nest in a tree. These are really big nests, like from bald eagles, so plenty of space for both parents (bald eagle nests are large enough to hold 3-5 human toddlers fairly comfortably).
Bald eagles typically nest along waterways as well, so overhanging nests are an interesting opportunity. I rather assume the goslings just jump out into the water, but I honestly don’t know if their tiny bodies would survive the fall onto regular ground. Probably would, they weigh almost nothing.
I used to work at a MSFT facility whose parking garage was built in a reconfigured wetlands.
The geese would just hang out in the parking garage. They would not move for cars, people, anything, and would attack you as you walk by them.
To my knowledge, a decade later, this problem still exists.
My owl friend has returned to my neighborhood and I can hear him hooting at night. I’ve never met, interacted with, or seen this friend, but I love him all the same.
You might be able to draw it closer by finding a YouTube video of calls by the same species and playing it when your owl buddy is around
I haven’t heard my owl friend yet this year. I hope he shows up.
Try leaving out some tootsie roll pops.
why is squirrel spelled like a professor from Hogwarts?
Because they are Professors at Hogwarts.
What about crows? Crows are pretty cool
They’ll remember that they were slighted in this post and make the Nebraska Humane Society pay for this insult
I think my retirement plan is to try to train crows to be absolute menaces to society. Like, teach them to pick locks or the best kinds of rocks to break glass (to get into vending machines).
No, deer are rats with hooves.
Some of them also have spiky heads.
Rats are cute and intelligent.
And host tasteful dining experiences.
and carry tasteful plagues!
Deer are delicious rats with hooves
They’ll also eat absolutely anything, including other deer, and many are infected with CWD which basically turns them into zombies 🤔
As the local “weird possum girl”, they are very intelligent! They shouldn’t be!
See, opossum have smooth brains. This isn’t normally linked to a high intelligence. Yet, they can remember if a food is toxic for up to two weeks after ingesting it, can learn and remember how to operate different sliding locks, and can solve simple puzzles with the right motivation(food)!
They can also form bonds, remembering people they like and dislike. Which is kinda funny to think about, because their babies spend a period of time riding around on moms back before they’re big enough to waddle off on their own. If one falls off, she may very well trundle off, leaving the little one behind, who may hitch a ride on a totally different jill that happens to walk by.
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goodness how i wish there was a weird possum girl in my locality
i would buy her lunch
not to eat with her as some creepy implied commitment to a date but because free food is an appropriate gift for opossum enthusiasts and I am just as happy for her to enjoy it without me if she so chooses.
(but to be fair i would prefer if she’d join me so i can listen to her talk about opossum facts)
I’d recommend something besides lunch for that, or at least have a strong stomach.
You’ll eventually hit the gross facts, and the little guys can get gross. Still absolutely adorable scavengers who play a key part in the decay cycle, but gross.
I’ve a strong stomach, and insatiable curiosity.
What kind of gross? Like rabbits eating their own first-pass poo?
(My RN mother used to watch graphic surgical shows during dinner so almost nothing really bothers me…. Except spelunkers getting stuck in caves. Holy fuck does that bother me and I’ll never be in a cave, so very illogical phobia)
It’s not just the first pass for a possum. It’s every pass, as it may still carry excess nutrients they now need. They do it from a very young age.
They have a cloyingly sweet feces that stays on whatever fabric you’re wearing while handling poop dishes in rehabs. They prefer moving water, but any water will do. I cannot put the smell into words. It’s burned into your nostrils for hours after.
Cannibalism isn’t uncommon amongst the species, but we have no clue why. They just randomly decide to eat each other.
No Biomass Left Behind!!! XD
Sounds like opossums will eat anything there is (or might be) nutrition in…
So wait, they poop in water? Like specifically?
Or am I misunderstanding, and the reason the water movement matters is that they eat shit then drink water? Or something else entirely?
Do they often get disease from consuming their poo? Since they scavenge and all, I assume they probably have decent immune systems, but fecal-oral is a super common disease transmission path.
Water specifically. It helps mask the smell, and it’s a frequent spot for one of their favorite foods, frogs. They also fish whatever is left in the water, if any. A lot gets caught on their tails, which frequently dip into the water.
Surprisingly, they’re extremely clean creatures, even with their dietary habits! They rarely carry any known passable diseases, even rabies! In fact, the biggest issue to look for is Metabolic Bone Disorder, or MBD, which is a sign of low calcium, and causes twisting of the bone structure, often leading to death. There is no cure, just slowing the spread.
Interesting, thanks for sharing that with me (and everyone else, I suppose). :)
Have a great day!
This gal possums.
Street koalas
I wish having possums wasn’t illegal without a very burocratic license in my country (Brazil). My ex once found a trio of babies, after the mother was run over by a car, I wish she’d kept one. She gave them to the environmental police
Two weeks doesn’t seem like all that long before forgetting that some food was toxic lol
Tell that to lactose intolerant people who love cheese. -from the very same.
It surprisingly is at their overall brain capacity. They’re intelligent relative to their brain mass.
Yeah and that part about losing babies and walking off unawares doesn’t seem so bright either
Geese are evil flying snakes. They’ll even hiss at you.
Angry noodle necks.
Nebraska has possums? Thought those were only in Australia
Hey now, Oz managed to introduce possums into NZ too.
But if you’re genuinely wondering, what we call opossums are called possums in the US
geese nutz
Clever
Gottem