So. Without trauma dumping, I’ll simply say my dad is a bad dad. What’s a father’s day gift that says “you’re dead to me, but I’m still doing things to keep drama at bay”?
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Socks 💯💯
Give him nothing
That’s what I’ve been getting my dad. Haven’t heard any complaints from him in years.
Can confirm, have a bad dad, father’s day passes by without a word every year. That’s a long term message. Last few years I didn’t even realize it was father’s day. If I got him anything it would mean I’m thinking about him
This is the way.
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Sixpack of beer? (Optionally alcohol-free, if his bad behavior is related to alcohol abuse.)
That would be especially funny because he’s Mormon, and he’s very upset I’m not.
Copy of the south park episode on Mormons?
A “Moroni is full of bologna” T-shirt?
A fathers day card from the dollar store. Include a gift card from the same dollar store. Put no money on the gift card.
Even better, buy a gift card for slightly more than the cost of the father’s day card. Use the gift card to buy the card so the remaining value is an odd number so it’s obviously used.
I don’t want to get too deep into your business but just to understand better what you’re trying to communicate… Please tell me if I get this right: there’s current (not past) drama in your family and you think that not acknowledging father’s day at all would feed into that drama (maybe your dad’s reaction would be “see, you’re all against me” and he’d play the victim or something like that) . On the other hand you also don’t want to pretend everything is right with your father. So you want something to communicate “I don’t want to be against you, but I certainly am not on your side either; I just want to be left alone and talk to you the strictly necessary amount of times”. Is that it?
If that’s the case, yes, the standard-est, humorless “happy father’s day” card you can find, with nothing but your signature in it should convey that message pretty well. If you can’t find anything, just a white one with a handwritten “happy father’s day, [your name]” would do.
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. I’m trying to stay close to my mom, and she’s desperately trying to hold the family together, so if I don’t do anything, he would play the victim and use my mom’s hurt feelings against me. So I’m most likely going to just do something very generic, like you said.
You’re in a situation you don’t deserve, but you are trying not to make it worse for your mom. I think you rock! I wish you all the best
I recommend ghosting.
If he asks you about it, re-ghost him (oh I forgot? Anyways…).
A short text the day after Father’s Day. Then you did send something, it just wasn’t timely or appreciative.
That said, I generally send my shitty dad a text on the actual day. It usually just says, “Happy Father’s Day, have a good one.” Last year I forgot to send one and then, when I remembered, chose not to.
TL;DR: do as much or as little as you want.
A mug that says “Worst Sperm Donor” with an unactivated or emptied gift card to his favorite store.
Nice
A plain white gift card with the following text maybe?
Hello father,
today is Father’s Day. As your son I am expected to send you a gift card at least.
This is the gift card.
[Your first and last name]
A sample set of cheap shower gel.
Partially used, or missing one item out of the set.
And if you really want to drive it home, make sure he knows you kept the one item to use yourself.
The same tie you gave him last year.
The cheapest card you can find with and leave the price sticker on.
Price sticker had me amused - I never thought of that!
Another suggestion is to buy a card in a different language. Or if it says Mother’s Day where you don’t even bother replacing “Mother” with “Father”, but that might be a bit too intentionally mean so I would only send this depending on what kind of relationship and trauma that OP has.
Holiday postcard from a place he doesn’t like saying
Wish you were
herethereHell, Michigan lol
Any of these passive aggressive comments and in addition something for yourself. Because you deserve it.
