House Republicans have ignited a firestorm with a proposed bill that would rename the vast coastal waters encircling the United States after former President Donald Trump. The legislation, spearheaded by Florida Representative Greg Steube, seeks to rebrand the US Exclusive Economic Zone as the “Donald John Trump Exclusive Economic Zone of the United States.”
Covering an expansive 4.3 million nautical miles, this zone extends up to 200 nautical miles from the US territorial sea baseline and includes territories of the United States, according to the National Ocean Service.
The move has drawn fierce criticism, especially in light of Trump’s controversial environmental record.
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Despite the bill’s audacious nature, its prospects in a Democratically controlled Senate appear bleak. Nevertheless, Steube plans to introduce the legislation today, coinciding with what would have been Trump’s 78th birthday.
In addition to proposing the renaming of coastal waters, Republican lawmakers previously suggested renaming the Washington-Dulles International Airport after Trump.
Conversely, Congressional Democrats have countered with proposals to rename a federal prison in Florida after Trump, who faces a litany of legal challenges, including allegations related to efforts to overturn the 2020 presidential election results.
When I’ve run out of words to express my horror at the turn of events, or find out that yet another world altering problem is the result of a decision made well before I was born that put profits or power over morals, I fall back to “I just need a time machine and a shotgun.”
Honestly, I probably wouldn’t just go blasting through the prime directive, but I’d definitely tell Gerald Ford what pardoning Nixon unleashed. And if I didn’t come back to swim in the thriving coral beaches in President Gore’s exclusive economic zone, I’m gonna mentor teenage Ronald Reagan to be a race car driver, and teach 1970’s Trump how stock options work with the hopefulness, enthusiasm and knowledge of a WSB YOLO investor.