Mindflayers are definitly evil (from humanoid perstective) because of their species. They eat and bread brains. And they are interesting.

Clerics don’t need to choose.

Why are you getting down voted so much? Isn’t this just a post of you figuring out and explainig that dnd 5e isn’t the best fit for you (in a comedic way)? Did I misread the entire post?

What’s the system you wanted to try?

You could do this in one line…

By removing all the linebreaks.