afox

Monday morning at a software company dude walks into the bathroom smelling like stale tequila. Sits on the toilet next to my stall. Grunts, moans, says exactly this. Proceeds to have explosive diarrhea and pukes on his shoes. It was 7am. What a start to the week. He just powered through. Ran his shoes under the sink and simply went to work. Something tells me this wasn’t his first rodeo.

Wonder if it’s a hunter gatherer type thing. Like F yeah get out there vs I just want to pick berries.

Started a punk band as a teen. Favorite song I wrote Called Lost Opposum. I feel this deeply.

Saddest day of my life not being able to get a hotdog without a card. Woman literally laughed in my face and said well if you’re too cheap… I wanted to go home and sic my wife on her. But I’m petty like that. A month a ago and I’m still so but hurt. Like why insult me and my finances?

https://images.app.goo.gl/abV6eShqNFoa7D727

I love you already. Favorite authors? Ray Bradbury and Arthur C Clark.

Old ass musty smelling paperback. 50’s and old racist 60’s sci-fi books smell best. I have a problem.

Long Long Chopsticks 🎶🎵🎶

I was a manager. It made me a bastard. I went back to coding.

How much are the tickets to your show?

My man!

Yes.

Years ago I was working in a sales / support call center. One day in between calls someone posed the question of if you had to sleep with someone of the same sex who would it be. Obvuois answers were things like George Clooney Brad Pitt etc. one of our team was extremely introverted so it was normal for him not to participate.

3 weeks later he pipes up, “I’ve given this a lot of thought and If I had to sleep with a man it would be Jesus Christ” 3 weeks later. Blows my mind he was in deep contemplation for so long. I still am taken a bit back.

The reason? “Jesus seems like he’d be a considerate lover with strong hands.” Beautiful.

Life. Don’t talk to me about life.

You better hope your sweet candy ass you have lasagna reserves on hand.

My heart :(

We are witnessing a hate crime.