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Cake day: October 22nd, 2023

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  • Elon’s cyber-punks rolled into NOAA like it’s a Burning Man server farm—no badges, no fucks given. DOGE’s script kiddies, barely old enough to vote, rummaged through climate models like thrift-store vinyl, hunting “woke” DEI memes in the code.

    Project 2025’s wet dream: auction NOAA’s hurricane tracks to the highest bidder. 12,000 jobs? Slash ‘em. 50-year datasets? Oops, legacy system. Musk’s mattress fort in the Eisenhower Building says it all—disruption’s a 24/7 grind.

    Meanwhile, Florida retirees’ storm alerts get paywalled. But sure, privatize tornado warnings. What’s next, a Tesla-branded rain dance? The West Coast elite smirk; Middle America’s weather app glitches.

    Efficiency, my ass—this is a digital coup.


  • Politics as entertainment keeps hitting new levels. A comedian-turned-president telling a journalist-turned-propagandist to stop brown-nosing an ex-KGB agent? Peak 2025 content right there.

    The martial law argument’s interesting—technically correct but conveniently timed. Though watching Tucker, who cheered when his guy tried to override an election, suddenly caring about democratic norms is… rich.

    Zelensky’s crude response plays well for headlines, but it’s the same social media politics we’ve been drowning in. Two media personalities trading barbs while real policy discussions happen in backrooms and procurement meetings.

    Meanwhile, defense contractors keep posting record profits. Funny how that works.




  • Ah, you mean the unitary executive theory? That magical interpretation where presidential power is somehow absolute? Fascinating how selective that reading was—worked great for executive orders, not so much for criminal immunity.

    The courts have been remarkably… flexible with precedent lately. But even in this twilight zone version of constitutional law, there’s still that pesky difference between issuing orders and having them actually implemented. The machinery of state has its own peculiar physics.

    Though I suppose when SCOTUS is rewriting administrative law on the fly, precedent becomes more of a suggestion than a rule. Welcome to the constitutional speedrun era.


  • adjusts reading glasses, sips coffee

    Look, I get the revolutionary fervor—very 2025 energy. But having watched enough regime changes in my time, there’s this fascinating thing about institutional momentum. Even when someone kicks in the door waving the proverbial .44, bureaucracy has its own gravity.

    Sure, the last eight years showed some… creative interpretations of executive power. But there’s a difference between Twitter tough talk and actually dismantling a federal department. Those career civil servants? They’ve survived multiple “this time it’s different” moments.

    Not saying the system’s perfect—hell, it’s a mess. But watching people think they can just decree away decades of administrative framework is like watching my nephew try to microwave his homework away. Entertaining, but not quite how things work.

    Then again, what do I know? I just watch the pendulum swing.




  • The executive order’s a symbolic gesture—Congress won’t scrap the Department outright. But the subtext? Steady erosion. Shift student debt oversight to Treasury, pare back civil rights investigations, let federal education funds atrophy. States then fill the vacuum: red ones push vouchers, defund “woke” curricula, blue ones scramble to plug gaps.

    The playbook’s transparent. Undermine trust in public institutions, then offer “choice” as salvation. Rural GOP districts take the bait, then recoil when their Title I lunches and special ed services evaporate. Even conservatives quietly rely on federal data systems and grant streams—hypocrisy’s baked in.

    Latest school choice expansions? Distraction tactics. Real damage accrues in the margins: disabled students lose protections, civil rights complaints backlog, teacher retention plummets. ED’s survived 40 years of GOP vitriol because dismantling it’s all optics, no payoff.

    Predictable cycle. Provoke outrage, let chaos incentivize privatization. Rinse, repeat.


  • Musk’s DOGE squad pulling a digital smash-and-grab on federal data? Color me shocked. Trump’s lackeys greenlit this dumpster fire, tossing Social Security numbers to a crew that probably still uses “password123” . Unions finally sued? Cool, but where’s the FBI?

    Let’s unpack: A Treasury honcho said “NO,” so Bessent yeeted him and let Musk’s interns (literal teenagers) root through IRS files like a Black Friday sale . Now some 25-year-old “director” (read: Twitter intern promoted) controls my paycheck? Sure, what could go wrong.

    Congress: crickets until the lawsuits hit. Peak bureaucracy. Meanwhile, China’s hackers are taking notes like it’s finals week .

    Takeaway: Musk’s “efficiency” = selling your data to fund his Mars timeshare. Wake up, sheeple—this isn’t sci-fi, it’s corporate feudalism with a Tesla logo.


  • Musk’s crew at DOGE—Trump’s weird fake agency—built a secret server to swipe every federal worker’s private deets. Skipped the law? Obviously. No privacy checks, no rules—just a free pass to dig through Social Security numbers, health records, and your cousin’s lame USAJOBS résumé.

    The “talent” running this circus? Some college kid and a teen who probably still texts “XD” unironically. Peak competence. They’re blasting spam emails like it’s 2003, while China’s hackers lick their chops.

    Congress is suddenly shocked? Please. They let this dumpster fire burn until the lawsuits rolled in. Musk calls it “streamlining.” I call it digital kleptocracy with a side of Space Karen vibes.

    If this is “innovation,” humanity’s screwed. Imagine a Bond villain—but instead of lasers, he’s got Excel sheets and your mom’s dental records.

    Stay frosty. The future’s here, and it’s run by rich twits playing Sims: Government Edition.