Passed an old guy on a hike yesterday who was greeting everyone he passed happily.
His t-shirt said Bad Mood.

How is this a fertility issue? Are people unable to have children, or just unwilling?

I wonder what percentage of us don’t.

I’ve never liked horror movies or roller coasters or anything like that.

Long cold days and short colder nights?

Root Cause Analysis

intensive, unless you’re growing some kind of laxative.

If they’re a mother-fucker are they really gay though?

“It tastes like feet!”

Hand down the front of your pants?

Answer: Groucho Marx

Question: What do you get when someone beats you with a Groucho.

Golf

“Well, I didn’t vote for you.”

I read the title like “you can’t fix stupid”.

I’m sure it hasn’t happened yet.

I snap my fingers as I approach red traffic lights and my confirmation bias is off the charts.

Navigation?

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturitions are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
On a lurgid bee,

That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles,
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]

Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and slipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,

Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turling dromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,

See if I don’t.

– Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz

And we suck at it.

And then slit their throat and eat them?

somethings

Like spelling? :)