1. Rape does not always involve physically overpowering someone. Someone may coerce someone else into sex with blackmail, lies, threats, or abuse of a position of power.

2. Erections are controlled by a person’s autonomic nervous system. A man can get hard even when he is not turned on or consenting to what is happening.

3. Not all rape involves a penis. A woman who sticks an object into a man without his consent is committing rape. Rape is about power and control over another person, and the rapist need not be directly stimulated for rape to occur.

Coersion. For example, “if you don’t have sex with me right now, we’re breaking up/I’m divorcing you/I’m going to ruin your life by doing xyz.” And when you say no, she’ll threaten to call the cops on you for some made up bullshit, but they’ll believe her over you because she’s the woman and you’re the man.

Also, you don’t have to be erect to have someone force you into performing sex acts. She could force you to perform oral on her, she could grope you, she could even penetrate you.

But if this happens to you, fight back.

Besides statutory, there are other situations where the man “can’t say no”. Power dynamics that are coercive. Intoxication. Fraud (eg. purporting to use birth control but not doing so would be a form of rape.

Being sexually aroused is not consent to sex is not consent to sex, to clarify the mechanics of it for you. And consent to sex of one kind is not consent to sex of another kind.

Prior to my coming out to myself, I was SA’d by a woman after being drugged.

The many, many mental struggles that followed brought me to the basic realization that everybody, well, maybe not lizardpeople, but the rest of us all bleed if somebody just shot us. Sure, I was drugged, so it helped with feeling weak at being assaulted, but even if I hadn’t been drugged, it wouldn’t have made it any more my fault. Im not saying like “if she had a gun you’d still…”

Anyone can be convinced by a horrible person that they won’t be safe unless they do something they don’t want to do. Gender, Chromosomes, Sexuality have no effect on that. -Full stop-

Female to male rape is harder to pull off (pun intended), butt it happens whether you want it to or not.

I dont necessarily think in all cases its overpowering someone, its more making advances and the person is not saying no or unsure how to deflect their advances. Either gender can hold a position of power. Still rape does not really matter which gender is doing it to whom. No grey area consent must be clear.

Maybe it helps with understanding when you think of examples of female rape that isn’t a stranger beating up a woman in a dark alley.

Like Harvey Weinstein. Countless women have come forward about rape and sexual violence from him. I doubt he always used physical violence on these women. But he was this all powerful person in the filmindustry who could and would destroy lives and careers with a wave of his hand if you’d deny him.

Very often rape and sexual violence comes out of a power dynamic where the victim (no matter the gender) feels they don’t have a choice. Physical violence does not have to be involved.

you can get a boner without intellectually wanting to have sex. One of the fucked up things about rape is the body still is activating the chemicals that cause pleasure which fucks with the head of the victim and it does not matter what direction the rape is in.

She sucks him gets him hard and then climbs on. He’s too drunk to resist.

I think some jurisdictions count it as rape if the victim consented under certain circumstances, but the rapist changed those circumstances.

Like consenting to sex with a condom on, but the rapist removes the condom and continues.

Usually it’ll be something like,

“If you try to put up a fight I’ll scream, guess who everyone’s gonna believe?”

Or if you’re really unlucky,

“Be my baby’s daddy!”, suddenly locks legs like a vise and begins grinding like there’s no tomorrow

With girl on guy it’s a lot less about physical overpowering and a lot more about weaponized social biases or lying about the intent of consensual sex for the purpose of trapping them into something.

If you’ve seen the infamous “Female Dating Strategy” forums, a lot of “tricks and tips” they come out with to “lock down your man” or “make him commit already!” basically amount to some form of Girl on Guy SA, either socially blackmailing them with the fear of you dragging them into a public accusation, which they aren’t ever gonna recover from even if found completely innocent, or by sabotaging contraceptives or tricking him into finishing inside to make a baby on purpose and then trying to shotgun wedding the whole thing.

Power over another person, the prerequisite for most sexual violence, doesn’t have to come from superior physical strength. It could come from an age difference, a professor-student or boss-employee dynamic, or some form of blackmail, for example. And the body can experience physical arousal in response to the right stimuli even when you don’t want to have sex. You can also do acts of sexual violence that do not require an erect penis.

From my viewpoint, it’s usually more of a coercive thing. Something you’re not necessarily entirely opposed to, but you might rather not, and in order to avoid a situation you might perceive as bad in a different way, you relent and allow it to happen, leading to years of questioning whether it even was rape or not, even though what it does to you mentally is irrefutable.

Bear in mind that in most countries rape is defined by a forced sexual act by a male.

I remember one guy telling his story that he was raped by a pregnant woman. He didn’t want to hurt the baby so he couldn’t force her to stop.