I mean, I don’t work out and am in terrible shape. A woman could easily overpower me if she was even slightly athletic. Not every man works at being strong, and not every woman is weak.

Also, as my sister points out: Gun.

It happens when your girlfriend is extremely unstable by default, even more so after a fight, comes to your parents house drunk in the middle of the night and essentially shames you for trying to reject her advances while simultaneously being physical about it by forcing you down and assuming you’re playing some mind game while you try your best to avoid waking your parents in the next room and making a scene cause she’s being loud and borderline belligerent. The sheer embarassment is enough for personal boundaries to get absolutely stomped on in that situation.

Life is living among infinite shades of grey. Every situation has nuance that you might not have thought of.

There are a few misconceptions in your logic.

1. Force is required to rape
2. Erections are controllable

Both of them are easy to disprove, but not obvious at first sight.

For 1 consider any case where a woman might have power (not physical) over a man, e.g. blackmail, teacher, parole officer, boss, etc. Another possibility to remember are weapons or physical threats to a third party. Also you should remember that humans have a fight/flight/freeze response, so a third of humans would just freeze regardless of being able to overpower their attacker. Finally there’s also the possibility of even without any threat, even being able to think properly, and knowing that he could physically overpower a female attacker, a man might not do it for fear of legal or moral repercussions, e.g. being thought not to hit girls or believing that no one would believe that he was defending himself. In fact lots of women who get raped don’t try to fight back or escape, believing (sometimes accurately) that their attacker would worsen the offense if they did that, e.g. by killing them (even if no threat was made), it’s not uncommon for rape victims to feel ashamed and guilt about not having fought back, and by saying that men can’t get raped because they could theoretically overpower their attacker you’re indirectly saying that any woman who doesn’t fight back with all her might is not being raped either, because they could have overpowered their attacker of they tried.

For 2, erections (and even ejaculation) are physical responses, in fact you can make a corpse get a hard on and cum (some wives do it to preserve their husbands sperm). This is no different from women getting wet or having orgasms while being raped (both of which are common), it means nothing, it’s just a physical reaction to a physical stimulus. In fact lots of victims (both men and women), especially those in abusive relationships think they deserve that because of those physiological reactions. To put it in simpler terms, saying a men can’t be raped because if they got an erection it means they wanted it is like saying that people can’t be stabbed because if they bled is because they wanted the knife.

Well, when it happened to me, my (now ex) roommate’s girlfriend came over and he was out, but she said she was gonna stay and I didn’t care. Then she wanted to chill instead of just sit alone, understandable, but in my room I only had a bed to sit on. Then she scooted closer, then closer still, and started grabbing my dick, to which I replied “we really shouldn’t do this, you’re dating my roommate blah blah blah,” and the fifth or so time she replied “no you don’t understand, this is happening.” At this point I gave up fighting because frankly it was either use physical violence to remove her from my house, which while technically legal won’t look good if she calls the cops and says I domestic violenced her and of course “rape” requires penetration in my state and male victims just get laughed at, or just fucking let her do it, which seemed to be the better of the two options at the time.

The second time I had fully intended to hook up with a girl, we talked about it before we started drinking and were on the same page. But then she got too drunk when it came time by the end of the night so I said "hey let’s just put you on the couch and rain check this. She said “no let’s do it,” and I figured since she had consented while sober it’s probably ok and she is very insistent. Well we start and she starts passing out, so I say “hey yeah I really don’t feel comfortable with this, we can totally just do it later it’s all good,” WELL she fucking said “no” and leglocked me in, I actually faked an orgasm for what must be the only time in my life (thank god for condoms, makes faking it easy, plus all the other bonuses). Now, that may not sound like rape, but the whole “me trying to rain check it twice and her forcing me to ‘cum inside’ (she didn’t know I faked it)” thing is analogous to stealthing which is also considered rape if a man does it.

So IME it’s less physical strength, as in not a hold-you-down style forcible rape, but stipl would count as rape, y’know if I was a woman, because again by definition where I am women coercing men to have sex isn’t “rape.”

As far as “how man get boner,” gtfo with that, that shit just happens, you gonna ask a woman who was raped why her pussy was wet next? It’s an uncontrollable biological response to stimulus just the same way and that exact logic is used to minimize men’s experiences and perpetuate the myth that it’s impossible because “well they must’ve liked it.” Been used on me before, hell I’d be surprised if someone doesn’t reply with it in the comments tbh.

Just using stimulus alone will achieve erection.

Bro, there are plenty of women that are stronger than guys. There are PLENTY of buff women who lift weights that can beat the shit out of an average guy who doesn’t lift. Not sure if you’re picturing every woman as like 5’1 and 100 lbs. I think you’re making grossly inaccurate assumptions.

Also psychological abuse can force people to submit to activities that they wouldn’t normally submit to, regardless of size.

OP I really think you need to reframe your thinking about how this happens. You’re thinking about it from an incredible narrow lens. Strong men forcing weak girl to have sex is not the only way this type of thing happens.

Well some woman on the street can definitely drag you to a corner and do a lot of sexual things to yoy without consent. Thats rape.

A lot of aggression in this comments with this is literally no stupid questions.

Sexual assault comes in many forms and men are and can be victims of most of them. Coercion, violence, emotional manipulation, drugs or alcohol, the list is the same regardless of gender.

As for an erection, it’s a biological response so they don’t correspond to desire/attraction/consent. Many women who are raped get “wet” and even orgasm, but that does not indicate pleasure or consent. It’s actually one of the reasons rape victims feel very guilty about the event. “If I didn’t want it/hated it/was scared, why did I cum?” That reasoning is also part of why people don’t report rape. They think that having an orgasm will hurt their chances to press charges or win because “they enjoyed it”

Rape can also happen between consenting people as well. In fact, quite a lot of what is and should be considered sexual assault/rape, is a partner “going too far” or doing something their consenting partner didn’t consent to.

Healthy sexual intimacy requires clear communication, setting boundaries, and making sure those things aren’t broken. The kink/BDSM community is an extreme form of sexual pleasure, and despite literal violence and pain, there is always consent at the forefront and there is always an “opt-out” or safe word that ends the encounter with no second guessing.

Erections are a biological response to stimulus, desire is not required.

For example a man could be overpowered, tied-up, and teased manually until erect. This is only one possibility but there are many other ways

Also penetration doesn’t need to happen for it to still be considered rape.

There is one case I know of personally, I don’t think it technically falls under the description of rape but I consider it rape. Husband & wife, wife wanted kid. Husband did not. Their birth control was pill-based oral contraceptive. Wife very purposefully moved off that birth control without telling the husband, husband was just raw-dogging her because “she was on the pill”…lo & behold…she gets pregnant.

She’s not very smart, and she has told a number of people about this deception & laughs about it. HAHAHA, oh, so funny, yeah that’s rape. You took advantage of your husband & used his reproductive abilities against his explicit wishes. You raped your husband. Had yourself a little rape-baby. Hilarious stuff (stupid broad).

Again, I don’t think that’s currently covered under rape. But goddamn I think it should be (although it’s harder to prove without confession/admission).

Usually it’ll be something like,

“If you try to put up a fight I’ll scream, guess who everyone’s gonna believe?”

Or if you’re really unlucky,

“Be my baby’s daddy!”, suddenly locks legs like a vise and begins grinding like there’s no tomorrow

With girl on guy it’s a lot less about physical overpowering and a lot more about weaponized social biases or lying about the intent of consensual sex for the purpose of trapping them into something.

If you’ve seen the infamous “Female Dating Strategy” forums, a lot of “tricks and tips” they come out with to “lock down your man” or “make him commit already!” basically amount to some form of Girl on Guy SA, either socially blackmailing them with the fear of you dragging them into a public accusation, which they aren’t ever gonna recover from even if found completely innocent, or by sabotaging contraceptives or tricking him into finishing inside to make a baby on purpose and then trying to shotgun wedding the whole thing.

Power over another person, the prerequisite for most sexual violence, doesn’t have to come from superior physical strength. It could come from an age difference, a professor-student or boss-employee dynamic, or some form of blackmail, for example. And the body can experience physical arousal in response to the right stimuli even when you don’t want to have sex. You can also do acts of sexual violence that do not require an erect penis.

From my viewpoint, it’s usually more of a coercive thing. Something you’re not necessarily entirely opposed to, but you might rather not, and in order to avoid a situation you might perceive as bad in a different way, you relent and allow it to happen, leading to years of questioning whether it even was rape or not, even though what it does to you mentally is irrefutable.

Bear in mind that in most countries rape is defined by a forced sexual act by a male.

I remember one guy telling his story that he was raped by a pregnant woman. He didn’t want to hurt the baby so he couldn’t force her to stop.