Well, when it happened to me, my (now ex) roommate’s girlfriend came over and he was out, but she said she was gonna stay and I didn’t care. Then she wanted to chill instead of just sit alone, understandable, but in my room I only had a bed to sit on. Then she scooted closer, then closer still, and started grabbing my dick, to which I replied “we really shouldn’t do this, you’re dating my roommate blah blah blah,” and the fifth or so time she replied “no you don’t understand, this is happening.” At this point I gave up fighting because frankly it was either use physical violence to remove her from my house, which while technically legal won’t look good if she calls the cops and says I domestic violenced her and of course “rape” requires penetration in my state and male victims just get laughed at, or just fucking let her do it, which seemed to be the better of the two options at the time.

The second time I had fully intended to hook up with a girl, we talked about it before we started drinking and were on the same page. But then she got too drunk when it came time by the end of the night so I said "hey let’s just put you on the couch and rain check this. She said “no let’s do it,” and I figured since she had consented while sober it’s probably ok and she is very insistent. Well we start and she starts passing out, so I say “hey yeah I really don’t feel comfortable with this, we can totally just do it later it’s all good,” WELL she fucking said “no” and leglocked me in, I actually faked an orgasm for what must be the only time in my life (thank god for condoms, makes faking it easy, plus all the other bonuses). Now, that may not sound like rape, but the whole “me trying to rain check it twice and her forcing me to ‘cum inside’ (she didn’t know I faked it)” thing is analogous to stealthing which is also considered rape if a man does it.

So IME it’s less physical strength, as in not a hold-you-down style forcible rape, but stipl would count as rape, y’know if I was a woman, because again by definition where I am women coercing men to have sex isn’t “rape.”

As far as “how man get boner,” gtfo with that, that shit just happens, you gonna ask a woman who was raped why her pussy was wet next? It’s an uncontrollable biological response to stimulus just the same way and that exact logic is used to minimize men’s experiences and perpetuate the myth that it’s impossible because “well they must’ve liked it.” Been used on me before, hell I’d be surprised if someone doesn’t reply with it in the comments tbh.