Ecco

Before this thing people call anhedonia, I remember love felt like a bubbly feeling, like you had an internal compass made not of magnets but of your sweetest memories and an undying interest to form more, and it always pointed to the ones I loved. Remnants of that died once and for all with my mum recently (who I loved even during anhedonia) and that caused every remaining relationship to collapse. Today I feel like I’m surrounded by NPC’s, and sadly not the kind who’ll say they want to be a Blitzball when they grow up.

Not with that attitude you won’t. Try fixing your personality

I haven’t really fallen in love since I was young, but I guess it has multiple stages; after the initial physical attraction it just kind of feels like your entire perspective shifts and this person becomes a central focus of your life, you think about them a lot and are always looking for oportunities to be close to them, talk, share experiences and “catch eachother up” on previous life experiences that have shaped you as a person. You want to understand what makes them who they are and want them to understand how you tick.

The longer you’re in love with someone in often manifests as worry for them, which I think is common for all types of love. You just carry this awareness of them and their well-being with you all the time and worry for them the same way you might worry about your own future and well-being.

You get so familiar with eachother over time that they change who you are and vice versa, kind of like two trees growing together and where they meet it’s difficult to tell who ends where. I think this is kind of that sense of “oneness” people talk about. It’s a comforting feeling, but also is the hardest part to deal with when a relationship ends.

I only had one person that I’d say I was ever really in love with, I’ve had romantic relationships with people I care for deeply but there’s only one person whoever really got stuck in my heart in a permanent way that I’ll for certain just carry them around as part of myself until I die. It’s nice in a way to have that kind of a connection with anyone, but quite painful as well. One way or another I think most of ys end up in a state of longing, that’s just part of the human experience.

What makes you believe you won’t ever experience romantic love?

Don’t say never - it can find you at the most unexpected time and place. It can be different for everyone, but generally you feel and know that this other person would do almost anything to help you. Regardless of what you go through, you know that everything will be fine since you have each other. Being loved means you have an advocate and someone who validates you, despite all your flaws and shortcomings. It means you can be brutally honest with them, and vice versa, because you want the best for them.

Being in love means you can fight and argue, but find some sort of common ground and go from there - because they’re interested in your perspective and you in theirs, even if you disagree with it. At the end of the day, they’re your rock and your fire.

Another person shouldn’t give you purpose or meaning - everyone has to make that for themselves, and it will likely change through time. But it does mean you have someone to stand alongside you in that journey, excited and eager to share and experience the journey.

Hey, it’s @fookreddit69@lemm.ee and @Kimdracula@lemm.ee again? Jeez dude, just get off the internet already. You keep getting banned for a good reason, and it’ll keep happening as long as you keep posting stupid bullshit like this.