What? Better working conditions and pay make employees happy? That just seems… so radical.
But have they considered the tried-and-true methods? Daily happiness meetings, of course! And don’t forget the “anonymous” surveys everyone knows are totally trustworthy. We can even measure happiness with fancy KPIs and build a whole dashboard to discuss at even more meetings! Consultants? Absolutely! Let’s throw a whole workshop extravaganza at this “happiness” problem!
the “anonymous” surveys everyone knows are totally trustworthy.
management and HR will swear up and down they are anonymous. Even on web forums… but the reality is you get a really obvious idea of who said what on what teams because management band together to figure out who would have said something based on their attitude, opinions and perspective.
You can and will be singled out by management for saying negative things. Managers will be required to address the criticism… by choosing strategies behind closed doors, perhaps after having a “group discussion” where they report what they want their boss to hear to their boss, and then tell said boss what the plan is to change to address things is later. It will not be a change that affects the leader except to show they did something worthy of a performance bonus or a promotion though.
All results that ask for more pay are basically ignored. They know why the departments with high turnover have high turnover. It’s a decision to keep those workers paid less because there’s no value to paying them more. Usually the highest turnover roles are treated like commodities. Sales person with strong ethics? Fired! Sales person caught doing illegal stuff to get sales? Fired! Sales person who gets away with selling doctors on drugs for unapproved indications? Big bonuses!
The moment the bosses and the owner decided they wanted to get paid more than the workers was the moment any sense of equity vanished.
I depends on how the survey is done. If it’s an outside company you basically get zero comments. I had to run the survey results and Gameplan for 200 employees yearly. I had zero idea, let alone time, to figure out who might have given us bad scores. It was a lot of graphs on what people felt we could improve or what we excelled at, so KPIs. Big surprise that compensation and communication were the two that needed the most work. It almost always is in different industries I’ve been in. It was truly anonymous on the level I was at (knowing the employees).
And when none of that works and people quit, it isn’t because you treated them horribly and it’s your fault, it’s because people just don’t want to work anymore.
What? Better working conditions and pay make employees happy? That just seems… so radical.
But have they considered the tried-and-true methods? Daily happiness meetings, of course! And don’t forget the “anonymous” surveys everyone knows are totally trustworthy. We can even measure happiness with fancy KPIs and build a whole dashboard to discuss at even more meetings! Consultants? Absolutely! Let’s throw a whole workshop extravaganza at this “happiness” problem!
Let’s have a five minute daily meditation and a coupon for coffee! That’ll surely help the drain on morale.
Man, a guaranteed 5 mins of a quiet break and coffee that I don’t have to bring myself sounds kinda nice
As a salaried manager that’s a dream. What’s a break!?
management and HR will swear up and down they are anonymous. Even on web forums… but the reality is you get a really obvious idea of who said what on what teams because management band together to figure out who would have said something based on their attitude, opinions and perspective.
You can and will be singled out by management for saying negative things. Managers will be required to address the criticism… by choosing strategies behind closed doors, perhaps after having a “group discussion” where they report what they want their boss to hear to their boss, and then tell said boss what the plan is to change to address things is later. It will not be a change that affects the leader except to show they did something worthy of a performance bonus or a promotion though.
All results that ask for more pay are basically ignored. They know why the departments with high turnover have high turnover. It’s a decision to keep those workers paid less because there’s no value to paying them more. Usually the highest turnover roles are treated like commodities. Sales person with strong ethics? Fired! Sales person caught doing illegal stuff to get sales? Fired! Sales person who gets away with selling doctors on drugs for unapproved indications? Big bonuses!
The moment the bosses and the owner decided they wanted to get paid more than the workers was the moment any sense of equity vanished.
I depends on how the survey is done. If it’s an outside company you basically get zero comments. I had to run the survey results and Gameplan for 200 employees yearly. I had zero idea, let alone time, to figure out who might have given us bad scores. It was a lot of graphs on what people felt we could improve or what we excelled at, so KPIs. Big surprise that compensation and communication were the two that needed the most work. It almost always is in different industries I’ve been in. It was truly anonymous on the level I was at (knowing the employees).
And when none of that works and people quit, it isn’t because you treated them horribly and it’s your fault, it’s because people just don’t want to work anymore.
You forgot the pizza parties.