Seen this on reddit and thought it was an interesting question that largely is not talked about.
It is largely an issue that gets sidelined and hidden because people don’t want to talk about it or accept that it exists. Hopefully this gets some traction to break that marginalisation.
It makes me realize what kind of world I live in. I keep my walls up.
It’s reallu weird too, they also hate men who avoid women.
They can hate me from a distance.
Not sure if I know what the term means and if I ever experienced it.
It’s sexism/gender-specific hatred towards men, where misogyny would be the same toward women.
Waiting for either society to collapse or the online feminist-sphere to begin attempting to approach some form of rationality and proportionality.
Things aren’t looking good.
I run into far more misandry in real life than online.
I joined a men’s group so I can have a place that what I am is celebrated.
Does it affect me negatively? sure. Does it affect me on a personal level? Absolutely not. I guess I view it with a kind of sad condescension, like: “I’m sorry society is so fucked up that you feel it necessary to lash out like that. I’m trying my best, but I’m only one man.” Now that I think about it, I’m not sure what the says about my engagement with system. I’m going to have to ruminate on that…
Down with the patriarchy!
That’s not really condescension imo. Just empathy.
I had to google what that even means.
I’m more or less unaffected by it. This sort of opinions only matter to me when it’s coming from someone whose opinion has some value to me. The views of a random internet user are practically meaningless to me. Any hateful or idiotic comment directed at me or anyone else just gets the user blocked and I move on. Offence is taken, not given.
It’s not very common. When I encounter it, I tend to get angry, as I do against all bigots.
it’s tough being a white man in America these days.
In all seriousness the deck is so stacked in my favor that the small amount of misandry there may be wouldn’t bother me at all. Generally the only way I’m underprivileged (adhd) is largely hidden. I don’t believe I’ve ever encountered misandry in real life. Online I’ve come across it occasionally, but it tends to be in niche communities I’m not a part of that I’ve stumbled on. And honestly there is so much misogyny that pervades our society that I’m inclined to give them a bit of a pass.
There’s a bit of institutional misandry. Not a lot compared to bigotry against other groups, but it pops up every now and then.
If you’re encountering this and can link to a thread where it happened to you, that might help some of us understand is going on. Maybe it’s a matter of interaction style, background beliefs, or topic areas or user cultures that you get involved with. I’m mostly in nerdy areas where it hasn’t been much of an issue, or alternatively, it’s an issue that I’m too oblivious to notice.
It is annoying, thankfully quite rare. No way to defend against it either because then you’re mansplaining.
Far worse than mansplaining, when you mention or react to misandry you are demonstrating signs of being on the slippery slope to becoming a mass shooter.
(Not something I believe; reporting what the zeitgeist claims)
More generally, there is an archetype of a “man who’s gone bad” and human society tends to view such men as extremely dangerous (because they can be).
At our current time in history, the tolerances on acceptable male behavior are extremely tight, and it doesn’t take much for a man to become marked for disposal.
The mechanism we currently use is this notion of a “pipeline” by which men who grumble about being mistreated are considered to be destined for total severance from decency and a descent into individual terrorism.
But really, it’s just an intensification of the ever-present male disposability. The enhancement is caused by the fact that the mating ratio has changed. With the proliferation of tinder and other hookup apps, a successfully-mating man can fuck hundreds of women per year.
This means the number of men we can dispose of while still maintaining a sense of generational reproductive security has gone up, and our collective unconscious is therefore searching for reasons to dispose of men.
That’s the underlying psychosocial energy pattern. The manifestation is an expansion of all categories related to “dangerous man”.
Just like the system criminalizes crack way more than cocaine, as a way of targeting black people, which is an expression of racist psychosocial energy, manifesting in legal excuses to lock black people up.
The same thing happens with men, by modulating the levels of male disposability via cultural rules.
This is, fundamentally, why men feel more and more constrained to act in a narrow band of acceptable behavior.
What the hell are you talking about??!!
What’s with the hysterical punctuation?
I treat anyone with a hatred against a gender the same as a racist - they get blocked.
I don’t, because there isn’t any
No such thing even exists that there isn’t any of at the internet.
I deal with it in the same way I deal with misogony when I encounter, I realize that everyone has their own experiences and that some dislike either way is to be expected, but if someone fixates on either I ignore them and more on.
I have much better things to do than arguing with hateful people on the internet.
I know you want to focus this thread on misandry but I had a learning experience with dealing with misogony a few years back…
I am a man, and back in 2011 when I first joined Reddit I was feeling a bit lost, I recently graduated, I had got my first job, wasn’t a good fit, I was lonely and depressed.
I was (still am) fat and balding, had never been in any kind of relationship, I was feeling resentment, and didn’t know where to channel it.
As I joined reddit I found the subreddit MensRights, and thought that it was interesting to learn about issues affecting men rather than hearing only about issues affecting women.
So I joined the subreddit, and over the next few years I read stories about how men were mistreated, and how unfair life was for us.
It was interesting, felt like I had discovered the final puzzle pieces that would complete my social understanding of society.
But, after a few years of having MenRights in my Reddit feed daily, I started noticing that I started disliking women in general.
I never wanted that, I realized that if I wanted to have any chance to find a woman as a partner or just as a friend, something needed to change, and after looking at the mental puzzle mentioned above, I realized that the peice I thought was the final peice had grown, and pushed everything out of alignement.
So I cut out MensRights from my subscriptions, and just decided to ignore it, and that did wonders for me, I don’t feel any hate or dislike for women any longer, I still don’t have a partner, but that is my own issue to deal with, and it is unfair to take it out on others.
Cutting out MensRights was harder than I thought, I had to properly decide and tell myself to do it, I suppose it was a coping mechanism.
My point to all of this is that while you can’t change other’s oppinions online, you can change what communities you engage with, be critical and analyze which communities affect you in what ways.
Or to put it like the WTYP podcast often say, you can just leave, there is nothing forcing you to stay in communities that are full of misandry or misogony, you can just leave.
What do you mean by “misandry”?
If you mean “women venting about their experiences in a male-dominated world”, then I don’t give a shit. I just try not to be the reason they’re complaining.
If you mean unrealistic emotional expectations for men, like we’re not allowed to cry or be sensitive or feel any emotion but anger, it frustrates me. I don’t really know how to handle it.
My gf used to say “i hate men” all the time. I have to stare at her for minutes until she realized I am also a man and she changes subjects sheepishly…
Ironically, I’ve only experienced the second one from other men.
Same, actually.
Not the first one.
I wasn’t thinking the second but that would be an example. I would say conversations with men over this topic is a lot easier than you would expect. There is support there. Bringing up with women who want a men to not cry or be sensitive can be difficult.
I’d refer to “toxic masculinity” or “the manosphere” if that’s what you meant.
I mean, I think there’s a time and a place for crying and it’s not usually in public, but if you are among a support network, then by all means.
That said, after a devastating breakup for me, I have cried in public, at a party, among strangers, and it sucked.
What I would like to see is just more camaraderie in general. Not bro culture per se, just more, social events. Kinda like the beer halls of yesteryear in Germany or the Shriners clubs. I feel like a lot of these rotaries, lions, etc, just have kind of fallen away in most towns, particularly for young people, and I really think we are losing a piece of our community because of it.
Meetups used to fill some of that gap for me, but it’s been way too long (and two moves) since I’ve been to one. And I’m not the type to go to church (believe me, I tried - the whole women lesser than men thing around here really turned me off).
I’m one of those weirdos, 50/50 introvert extrovert. And now with a family, it’s tougher than ever.
