Bonus points if someone warned you and you went ahead anyway.
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The world sucks and you can’t do ANYTHING about it. Some people are just privileged and you’re not one of them.
Trigger warning: Suicide
Don’t trust a suicidal friend’s promise that they won’t off themselves and will seek help. Try everything you can to get them into therapy. Even if it will cost your friendship. It can save a life in the end
Don’t go to a foreign country without travel insurance. I almost died and was threatened with arrest for being unable to pay the hospital bill.
Before you share unasked for information with someone consider these two points:
- Is this a teachable moment?
- Does this person want to be taught?
If the answer is No to either one or both, keep to yourself.
In related news: Sometimes people want to vent, sometimes they want solutions. If you don’t know which one is needed it’s okay to ask!
Regarding the venting sometimes people don’t want a solution they just want to vent.
I feel called out D:
That’s the point.
There’s actually a 3 question test for this.
- Does this need to be said?
- Does this need to be said by me?
- Does this need to be said by me right now?
This is all great advice that unfortunately I will not be able to take.
You forgot number 4:
- Will this person spread this misinformation to others?
Don’t speak just to speak, speak for a purpose.
it was explained to me one time as W.A.I.T
Why
Am
I
Talking
That’s sensible advice - often, sharing the info sounds like “I assume that you’re an ignorant, so let me enlighten you little thing”. And/or fails to take into account relevant, but unmentioned details.
However, when discussing in public (like here), and in more general grounds, there’s a complicating factor - the audience. Often what you say might not be useful to the person whom you’re replying to, but it might still be for someone else.
Cooki
The Public Defender doesn’t give a shit about you.
They also don’t give a shit if you’re truly innocent or guilty. They just want the case to be as easy as possible while also establishing their effectiveness so they can join a wealthy private law firm.
They also don’t give a shit if you’re truly innocent or guilty.
I mean, a lawyer shouldn’t, public defender or no. Their job is to argue a case, not to be the judge.
And public defenders are human beings as well, if you can make yourself a human being to them and not just a task they have to complete in order to get a paycheck then you stand a much better chance of getting high quality representation.
You can’t study at home. Go out with your textbook and study there.
Don’t get addicted.
And you’ll never feel like an addict right up until the point where you are.
WoW, magic cards, or meth? :o
So both?
Haven’t learned yet, and still struggling with it but if someone asks if you are OK, don’t go for the default awnser, if anything say idk.
That and asking for help, I been in the bottom of the barrel one too many times just because I din’t ask for a hand early on.
I have a similar struggle reaching out. One trick I learned was to ask myself: if the positions were reversed, would I be annoyed or put off if this other person were reaching out to me?
Never stick your dick in crazy. The sex is great but it’s absolutely not worth the drama. That being said … it was a fun lesson to learn!
Unless you knocked up crazy…
If she says you don’t need to use protection, you need to use protection.
Who’s crazy?
Obviously this depends on where you live and what job you want, but I learned that getting a job is less about “having skills” and more about marketing yourself. Optimizing your CV. Bragging about your work on LinkedIn. Writing a cover letter with the key words they’re looking for.
It’s all very stupid, but it matters a lot to companies.
Also, knowing the right people. Of all my positions, only two did I get by being the best unknown applicant. One was a job setting up private care medical services for the VA. The other was a research assistant position in my Master’s program^1 . All the rest were by people that knew me, so they recruited me specifically. Of course I had to be a good performer to be recruited, but they still knew me before applying.
1: While it wasn’t stated, I think that I got the position in part because they were interested in hiring a gay man for diversity purposes. This was in the 2000s, and the writing sample I submitted with my application was a sociology term paper arguing for LGBTQ rights, so they assumed I was gay. I still had to have an extraordinary application to be considered, but the likely chose me from among the top applicants for my supposed gayness. The thing is that I’m not gay or bi, so I kind of felt bad about it once I started thinking that’s why they recruited me 😕
Thinking about my career, I think you’re right. Of the industry jobs I’ve had, only 1 of them I got without knowing someone in the company or being referred to the company by a mutual 3rd party.
Ironically, the job I got on my own is the best paying by far.
If you don’t feel it, don’t do it. Some injuries don’t heal right, and many of the hobbies I enjoy have a pretty damned high risk factor. Almost every single time I’ve had a serious injury, that little voice was telling me “This one might not end well”, and I went for it anyway.
I could have walked away, called it a day, and come back another time. It wasn’t a contest, I was just out filming a few tricks for my “You’re turning 40 and still doing it” video. Didn’t stretch, didn’t warm up, and my over enthusiastic filmer was all “Try this, do that”. Ended up collapsing my knee and fully tearing my MCL.
Between that and a few neck and back fractures over the years, my mobility and flexibility are pretty well shot. There are things I just can’t do anymore.
Sure I still skate, and am amazed just how much I can still get away with, but now every minute on the board includes a constant “Is this safe? Is this worth it?” chant.
This doesn’t solve all problems and wouldn’t have helped at all there. And I know that lots of people don’t like them. But after watching too many YouTube videos of skating tricks in concrete environments going very badly wrong, I’m convinced that having a helmet on while skating is something people should do. You don’t have pads or something, you mess up, grind off some skin, at least you’ll heal. But you land wrong on your head, that doesn’t always heal.
I don’t skate, but I always wear a helmet on a bike. I haven’t had to learn this one the hard way, but I’ve had a bunch of friends who biked a lot. One was a bike messenger, biked all the time, knew his way around a bike, worked in heavy traffic. Then, late one night, someone decided to blow through a stoplight, did a hit-and-run on him. He got really lucky – his dad happened to be out late, found him dying in the empty street. He almost didn’t make it, suffered permanent brain damage, lost memory and stuff. After that, he always wore a helmet. His biking buddy, who previously never wore a helmet, had a huge head of curly hair blowing in the wind, always wore one after that too.
I just don’t fall that way on a skateboard, so I never wear one, though knee pads are a must.
I will never ever ride a snowboard without a helmet. I’ll ride a motorcycle without a helmet before I’ll ride a snowboard without one.
On Linux, about twenty-five years back, on stock Red Hat Linux (and, I suspect, all Linux distributions) the
bashshell used to match.*against both.– the current directory – and..– the parent directory.This means that if you ran
rm -rf .*, in a directory, you’d delete all the files starting with a “.” – “hidden” files in the current directory. You’d also start recursively-deleting the contents of the parent directory.This led to all kinds of excitement if, in a directory in your home directory, you’d try deleting all dotfiles. The
rmcommand would also attempt to wipe out all of the contents of your home directory – all of your files. And this isn’t a system where there’s some “undo delete” option, unless you had a backup system in place (which is a good idea, but wasn’t something set up by default).These days,
bashdoesn’t do that.If you feel like you are walking on eggshells every day with your partner you are at best with the wrong person. More likely you are being abused. No, they will not improve. You can try any number of strategies for conflict resolution but the horrors will persist.
That’s also true for friends or close enough acquaintances
I was in this picture, and I still don’t like it.
It took me years of reading, talking, and thinking to break religious childhood indoctrination. Being able to let go of a fear of hell was a big step near the end I think.
A funny thing I found out about dwelling on negative emotions like fear and guilt is that it never helped me become a better person. Quite the opposite. Only by facing my issues head-on and forgiving myself if/when I screw up do I actually make progress. (Some religions would have us look ‘outside’ ourselves for forgiveness, but that always places our spiritual wellbeing on some unknowable other.)
