• Sombyr@lemmy.zip
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    1 month ago

    I can’t speak for every woman, but I can speak for my own experiences and report based on the things women I know have said. For me and those I’ve spoken to, we may like muscles, but the things you need to do to get those muscles often aren’t as attractive and cancel it out. Like, if you’re getting muscles by going to the gym every day, that’s only gonna attract women who are enthusiastic about the gym. If you get them from farm work, you’ll attract women enthusiastic about farm life.
    That’s why a lot of us like dad bods so much. It’s not that it’s inherently more attractive, it’s that it’s a body type achievable by living the kind of life style people who’re into that enjoy.
    In other words, yes, muscles can be attractive, but not nearly as attractive as shared hobbies and interests, and it just happens quite often muscles can be a quick indicator that you probably don’t share many.

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      1 month ago

      I got big arm from the gym once and even women who never went to the gym couldn’t resist peeking at them.

      You make it sound like the muscles are only interesting as a sign of lifestyle.

      No, in my experience women find muscles viscerally and directly arousing, not just an indicator of compatible lifestyle. Women like muscles the way men like boobs: before thinking.

      • Sombyr@lemmy.zip
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        1 month ago

        I wasn’t intending to say we only like muscles as an indicator of lifestyle. I was saying they’re also an indicator of lifestyle, so even if we are attracted to them we may still pass because it doesn’t match the kind of personality we prefer, and personality is generally a lot more important to us than appearance (generally, but not always.)
        For instance, I find muscles attractive. I like that they show somebody’s interested in staying healthy, but I don’t generally date muscular men simply because I’m not into the fit lifestyle. I much prefer a guy who’s more likely to join me playing my favorite games or watching my favorite movies, because I’m a nerd and those are the things I like, and a guy who’s a little chubbier tends to be exactly that kind of guy.

        • Pelicanen@sopuli.xyz
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          1 month ago

          All the nerds who go to the gym just quietly shed a tear.

          I also think that men (of which I am one) tend to overestimate just how much women appreciate muscles. Naturally it’s a spectrum but I at least have the experience that men believe that getting muscular will automatically award them with adoration from women when that seldom seems to be the case.