Lexapro gang gang! Gave me insane bouts of diarrhea for the first week or so, but it helped fix what i thought was IBS, got me out of a severe crippling depression, and has helped immensely with my adhd. It pretty much renewed my lease on life. I was able to quit smoking a gram of dabs every week which i was using to self medicate ny depression, now i only take 1 CBD gummy a day to help with a neurological condition which other medications do nothing for. Wish i had started taking it sooner, but i thought i had it under control with the copious ammounts of weed i was smoking. I was so fucking wrong.
Like putting a fence around the spiralling pit of doom.
Less anxiety. For a bit there I felt like “nothing” and then I realized that’s what it feels like when I’m not constantly ruminating on all the crap that brings me anxiety.
I take fluoxetine. It doesn’t have an immediate physical effect like Tylenol, Gravol, and the like. The effect builds up with time. I would describe it as feeling like “quiet”. Fluoxetine gave me the ability to quiet bad thoughts. From there, I had more stability to climb out from the pit of despair and anxiety.
The first few days (maybe two weeks or so) after starting, I slept a lot. Where I used to go to bed at 11:30pm and wake up at 5am, I was now out like a light at 8pm. My brain was finally quiet, so I could feel my body’s exhaustion.
The next thing I noticed is that I was able to let small annoyances slide. I used to be triggered by stuff like someone playing music too loudly in the bus. Instead of hyperfixating on that sound and ruminating for the entire bus ride, I could now let it fade in the background and think of something else.
After a few weeks, I noticed less crying, less blowing up at my partner, and less panic spirals. That time and energy I could now put into other stuff: chores, hobbies, socializing. I wanted to be happy and I felt empowered to make it happen, rather than at the whim of the exterior world.
While fluoxetine greatly diminished my lows, it also muted my highs. In my manic-ish days I felt “happy” for hours, and often hypersexual. Now my happiness was different, like… instead of going on fun rollercoasters and having my heart race, I was now sitting in a cozy armchair with a cup of tea and a snack, and my heart was peaceful. I do have a lower libido, which is tough on my partner. (OTOH I now contribute a lot more to household tasks, so it events out lol.) I do miss the euphoria I used to be able to feel, but I don’t wish it back because I know the price I had to pay for it.
I would describe it as feeling like “quiet”. Fluoxetine gave me the ability to quiet bad thoughts. From there, I had more stability to climb out from the pit of despair and anxiety.
The next thing I noticed is that I was able to let small annoyances slide. I used to be triggered by stuff like someone playing music too loudly in the bus. Instead of hyperfixating on that sound and ruminating for the entire bus ride, I could now let it fade in the background and think of something else.
This is the best description of my personal change as well. Medicine won’t fix a single one of life’s annoyances or solve your problems or help your relationships. What they will do is remove what I would describe as an emotional stickiness.
Like the noisy bus rider you mentioned, that alone is something I can easily deal with now. But back before medication, that frustration would just stick in my brain. And then thoughts of other people doing things from my past would creep in and stick to the initial annoyance. Every minor problem would stick to anything else I could remember, so now instead of a tiny, temporary problem, I had to suddenly deal with every problem I could remember.
Now the thoughts about unrelated things don’t creep in, and I can deal with the minor annoyance without everything else.
Other people’s comments have mentioned many other effects similar to what I had, but your comment is the only one that mentioned the persistent focus in negative things and the thought creep, or at least that’s how I read it.
But back before medication, that frustration would just stick in my brain.
Yes! Exactly that. What you call emotional stickiness I call spiralling. Before meds, once something upset me it was nearly impossible to stop. That minor annoyance made me feel anxious and upset, which in turn reminded me of other times I felt that way, and it all amplified.
I’m glad you’re in a better place. Remember, if you can’t make your own neurotransmitters, store-bought are fine. 👍
I’m glad you are too!
My partner is also on treatments for bipolar, so between us it does make planning…romantic encounters very difficult as well, but as you said too, we both prefer each other leveled out as opposed to dealing with each other at our extremes. We’d probably be a disaster if we were both doing poorly at once. We still have a very friendly love for each other though, which helps fill the gap left in the physical things. I’m sure it help that it’s similar for both of us, than if it was just one of us on mood numbers.
Omg same! Like everything just feels more mellow. My happiness feels sorta like “meh”, but not in a bad way.
Like the first ten minutes after waking up from a really hard, hot, nap, all day, every day.
i forget what exactly i had but it was in drops. This is from a perspective of someone for whom the meds didn’t work, rather, did the opposite of what they were supposed to
First week i felt nothing, second week i thought my anxiety was getting worse and really started hoping the meds kick in soon (let’s call it foreshadowing). Week three… well i noticed that in the mornings i feel alright, then i take the prescribed amount of drops, then i feel terrible, and in the evenings i feel alright again. My doctor told me effects fully kick in after around a month of treatment, and there can be some bad side effects at first, things getting worse before they get better kind of stuff, so i kept taking them hoping they start working as intended but the thing is- it didn’t stop there. Past week three my anxiety was constant, usually it gets triggered by something i have to do and then fades but when I was taking those SSRI it never stopped. I constantly felt like i was on the edge of a panic attack. I spent my days paralysed, just sitting before my PC trying to distract myself with comfort games & comfort videos, i didn’t even feel like i could play something more challenging or unpredictable than picross or tetris. It drove me to the point where i decided that i’m gonna risk it, do some ill-advised and understudied drug mixing and smoke weed
After 3 days of being nearly constantly high I decided to stop the meds. Though i was close to the elusive month of treatment i just couldn’t keep going like that, some people can stay high for weeks on end but not me, i do actually like being sober. And at that point being sober felt like hell. I gave it a quick Google and when i read that i can quit cold turkey (you can only do it if you haven’t been taking them for longer than a certain amount of time) i did.
It was fucking terrible, 3rd type of anxiety meds in a row that made me so much worse than normal. I’ve just been rawdogging my normal anxiety ever since, well, with some help of weed, alcohol and occasional psychedelics. It’s strange that so far the only “meds” i’ve found to be helpful are uh “self prescribed” so to say
this is obviously not something that happens to everyone, majority of people react fine to SSRIs, i’m apparently just not one of them :(
What do you think your anxiety is rooted in? When you get home, are you calm and laidback?
it’s mostly rooted in my fear of failure, disappointing others, or accidentally characterising myself as someone who’s incompetent or worthless. I have no idea when it spread so far i feel anxious about catching a bus but here i am
calm would be a big word hah, mostly relief, and then i need to take some time to fully relax because it doesn’t happen instantly
I want to add another “everyone is different.”
As in, my major depressive disorder is comorbid with ADHD. Which means my particular brain is wired like someone insane put it together.
The ADHD diagnosis didn’t come until my mid-30s but the depression came before I was 10 years old, so I was trying everything on the market all those years. (Reminder to those of you still working on it that if there’s even one day of genuine joy to be found, all the misery will have been worth it, yes, even if it takes 20 years.)
SSRIs for me are treating a problem with a solution I don’t have. My brain refuses to make serotonin. There isn’t any of it, so controlling it’s uptake is pointless.
So it was just a massive variety of different types of numb, and different negative side effects. Of course, numb was preferable to misery, so I stayed on one or another for long stretches until I got the urge to try and find something that actually worked again.
It made it a shade easier to overcome OCD - BUT a decade on I feel drowsy, oversleeping, dulled intelligence and creativity, difficult to feel pleasure “driving with the handbrake on” These meds need to have a yearly review factored in - 10+ years of use make it almost impossible to come off (even with good advice and the liquid form (that can taper 1mg change at a time) I had to BEG for in the UK. The standard advice of splitting pills for moving doses means a change far too large to handle (2.5mg is a massive drop). The brain and all its systems get very used to having more serotonin and resist this change with terror, confusion and upset. I’m on 7mg after starting with 10mg then 9, 8… and it gets tougher with each drop (no professional had any advice to give except try to come off in a few weeks :0 ).
My experience with Zoloft: or the greatest thing that has ever happened to me:
I have autism, which led to crippling, crushing anxiety and depression. It wasn’t until my mid twenties that I broke down. I could barely hold a job, talk on the phone, I couldn’t even get a drivers lisense because I had panic attacks behind the wheel so no one was willing to even TRY to teach me anymore. Zoloft changed everything. Within a few days of taking it I was less depressed sure, but the reduction of the anxiety was a miracle. I could take phone calls! I got a drivers license! I was able to get a good paying job and get my life together. It enabled me to get therapy and a diagnosis of autism which really helped me to understand a lot of my underlying problems. I remember asking my friend, after my first successful trip DRIVING to the store, is this how normal poeple feel ALL THE TIME!!??? Not crushed 24/7 by fear so bad it would make me puke!??
Side effects: I gained a lot of weight and my sex drive took a huge, huge nose dive. If I miss more than three doses I get terrible brain zaps, and can’t do anything until I get my meds. Even moving my EYES felt like lighting through my skull.
Hopefully my mini novel here was helpful, I feel like one of the few lucky, lucky poeple who had such a good reaction to SSDI inhibitors.
TLDR: took zoloft for depression, instead it ended up being the best anti- anxiety medication I have and I am still taking it. 10/10 would Zoloft again.
Zoloft gang here too. I had some mild symptoms of serotonin syndrome when I first started taking it, but they were gone within a couple weeks and it’s making a huge difference with my anxiety. I’m also autistic & ADHD
I feel pretty much the same as when off of them but my anxiety isn’t nearly as crippling. There are some side effects like a dulling of emotions but to me it’s so worth it
First week it made me feel like there was a very light electric current running through my body. Not unpleasant, just a bit odd. Tingly. And yawning uncontrollably for a few hours after taking them for a few weeks.
Again, not unpleasant. But I absolutely embraced them, I did not fight the effects. I was very, very glad to try medications.
Now, after like 4 or 5 years, I can clearly tell the difference between before and after - the difference is, instead of downward spiralling into a hideous pit that I couldn’t climb out of, that spiralling downwards still starts, but it stops.
Instead of falling into the pit, I can just choose not to keep going down.
Things are still upsetting and I still take things worse than other people but I dont become out-of-control spiralling downwards forever until I can’t function. I have gained the ability to shrug and go “that sucks but, whatever”.
I felt this way, too. I also had a pleasant butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling near constantly for the first couple weeks.
Grey, faded, like everything was some distance away.
Totally not for me.
Same. Couldn’t even enjoy orgasms.
Wow. Ok, I’m glad now my doctor went with such a low dose now.
I couldn’t even have them. Sex felt kinda good, but nothing that was ever going to arrive anywhere. It felt good like someone rubbing your arm feels good. I couldn’t even get myself there and that is seriously messed up for me.
Yeah I’d spend hours trying to cum with a vibrator, and my clit would go numb before I came sometimes. If I did cum, it was the weakest most unsatisfying orgasm
I think Wellbutrin was like that for me.
They recently tried to put me on Duloxetine for migraine prevention. I couldn’t cum but I could sure get blue balls. Without getting into details I have an extremely high libido. Like per day, not per week or month.
I couldn’t stay on that med long enough to say if it worked. I hate migraines but that was impossible. Fortunately after that, they put me on Ajovy and that fixes the migraines with almost no side effects.
This was my experience, as well. Every experience felt dull or muted. If anyone remembers adjusting the rabbit-ear antenna on an old TV, it felt like you were just an inch away from perfect reception; you can still tell what’s going on, but there’s a thick haze that just flattens everything out.
What in the actual fuck are SSRIs?
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors
Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors, ie antidepressants like Prozac
Common antidepressant. Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors work be limiting how much serotonin your neurons gather back up after use. More serotonin around leads to more happy. Or so the theory goes. Antidepressants are very much vibes based and the best way to see what works is trial and error.
First week it made me feel like there was a very light electric current running through my body. Not unpleasant, just a bit odd. Tingly. And yawning uncontrollably for a few hours after taking them for a few weeks.
Again, not unpleasant. But I absolutely embraced them, I did not fight the effects. I was very, very glad to try medications.
Now, after like 4 or 5 years, I can clearly tell the difference between before and after - the difference is, instead of downward spiralling into a hideous pit that I couldn’t climb out of, that spiralling downwards still starts, but it stops.
Instead of falling into the pit, I can just choose not to keep going down.
Things are still upsetting and I still take things worse than other people but I dont become out-of-control spiralling downwards forever until I can’t function. I have gained the ability to shrug and go “that sucks but, whatever”.
Duplicate, please delete.
Like you’re one of a kajillion people who have ever lived, like an ant, and if someone came along and stepped on you, you’d be dead, just like most of the kajillion people who have ever lived, only to be replaced by another.
ETA- also sweaty, yawny, and either very interested or very not interested in sex and/or food.
That sounds more like mushrooms.
🤷 That’s how it felt to me.
IRC one of mushrooms’ main effects is to increase seratonin levels, so … Yeah, same basic thing.
