Half of the time I look forward to my death, it doesn’t scare me since I don’t see the real point of my life, what scares me is if my agony would be slow and painful.
But then what? I just stop existing and it’s like I fell asleep? Do I see light? Darkness? Nothing? What is nothing?
If you’re asking about your cognitive state, it’s like a process or event that ends. Like if you roll a ball down a hill and the ball stops bc it’s at the bottom of the hill. The ball’s still there but the process of the ball rolling is over.
To some people it’s helpful if they read up on things like palliative care and hospice care. To other people it makes things worse to think about it, but personally I found it comforting to know that there are options and procedures to handle that.