I like the beep but turning it to the lowest volume setting soothed my soul

He pardoned people who got 20 year sentences for that shit? Wow. Thank you for the link.

Shakespeare would have gotten at least one dick joke in there. This is unrealistic.

Four cops were killed in that insurrection, right? Did he pardon their killers?

I was thinking about how an episode of Bob’s Burgers is able to have a convoluted but hole-free plot but hundred million dollar movies can’t. And it’s because the budget isn’t a hundred million dollars for Bob’s. So there isn’t a ton of producers trying to put their mark on a big movie they don’t understand at all. No directors being sent of to shoot inconsequential scenes while second unit shoots the stuff the goes into the movie. All that shit.

Boss: Did you mean to use a shirtless picture on your work profile.

Me: Yeah, that was totally on purpose. I didn’t just look through my pictures for a recent head shot and then not notice my nakedness. That would be absurd.

/me changes it as quickly as possible

Did you go to bed at 22? You did, didn’t you?