We have proof that kids have never paid attention in school. For example, in Novgorod around 1250 A.D. a six year old boy named Onfim (later called Anthemius of Novgorod) was supposedly practicing his writing and basic arithmetic. Much of what archeologists have found were doodles of him being a heroic knight
who hunted down his teacher, who was a horrible monster 
. These were buried in a waste pile, where they were rediscovered by archeologists. They are a treasured part of Slavic history and there is now a statue of him in his hometown.I bet this was the medieval version of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes
These don’t look too dissimilar to things I’d doodle when I was 6. Interesting how kids always kinda draw the same.
It’s fascinating the stages children through in drawing. It says a lot about how the young mind develops. The “head with arms and legs” stage seems universal, and amusing.
Teacher has threw it on the trash. 😂
Imagine how his teacher feels. The little shit doodles all through his class, and who do we build a statue of? The kid‽
W H A T
Risky click but worth it.
… Whyyyyy?!
The Emu War
Tell ya what, you go fight a herd of dinosaurs and see who wins
~Everyone thinks it’s funny until they face off on an emu~
The Alberta Rat Wars
Uh oh I’ve not heard about those!
looking forward to the movie!
There are lots of great answers here so I want to post something entirely silly and much much more recent:
About 8-9 years ago someone on Reddit transcribed and revised the entirety of Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven to instead be about an Emu.
For the life of me I have never been able to find it again.
Upvoted bc i want someone to find and share it.
Good luck. It wasn’t a post, it was a top level comment and I have a dim memory of it only being slightly related to the post topic.
Oh great. First, the Emus won a war against Australia, greatly boosting their egos. And later on, they started censoring their mention online.
In other news… there seems to be a bird in my backyard that keeps taping on my backdoor window.
The fact they passed on legit information on d day, is still mind blowing. They relied on delays on the German side to make the information out of date by the time it would arrive. The German radio operator not being on station to receive it just made it funnier.
Dinosaurs existed on the other side of the galaxy!
As in, it was so long ago that Earth has done half of a great cycle since then.
Was finding the number odd (expecting a longer orbit) but looks like the solar system has already orbited the center of the milky way 18 to 20 times. Imagine that much change in earth in 20 years.
A dude had heard about some other kind of god, and so he randomly looked up at the sky and basically said “if you let me win this battle, I will convert my entire country”…
…and he won, and so Roman Catholicism was born cause he said so.
Later, some dude was like “screw your catholicism, I don’t like my wife any more, I’ll go make my own church with hookers and blow and divorce my wife,” and so the Church of England was made cause he said so.
I may have oversimplified these stories but pretty sure that’s about it.
Your version makes more sense 😃
The first manned hot air balloon was mistaken for an eldritch monster by rural French citizens who didn’t understand it and was “beaten to death” by a French mob after it descended to the ground.
I’m skeptical. Can I bother you for a source?
Okay, so it was actually unmanned, and it was a hydrogen balloon, but it does seem to be a pretty widely repeated story from a contemporary newspaper. This was shortly after the first hot air balloon flight and might have had less fanfare, so it seems a bit more reasonable that peasants 21 km away wouldn’t have heard anything about it until the large levitating blob was coming at them.
Wait, I said manned? D’Oh!
Wasn’t he also on death row? He was offered a pardon, if he survived.
Yes, they did that for all those experiments back then.
There was a roman emperor named Pupienus which is pronounced poopy anus
Biggus Dickus
“Well it’s a joke name sir!”
What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behavior like that.
Well, at least that brisket was good enough for jehovah.
“Mad” Jack Churchill, who fought in the Second World War with a longbow, a basket-hilted Scottish broadsword, and a set of bagpipes.
And after the war he went on to become an early pioneer in surfing!
And still survived. Legend
Allegedly German soldiers said that they didn’t shoot him because they assumed he’d lost his mind, and took pity on him
The only confirmed bow and arrow kill of WW2!
and the movie just came out.
(He even suggested the construction of a bridge or tunnel between San Francisco and Oakland on the other side of the bay, predicting the existence of the Bay Bridge and Transbay Tube!)
And the city just humored him.
Hey, that dude was in West of Loathing. Now I know he was a real dude.
Rasputin having such a massive cock that Boney M had to made a song about it.
But the ladies begged, “Don’t you try to do it, please!”
The oldest recorded words from any woman living in (what is today) Scotland are someone telling the empress of Rome, to her face, that they fuck better than her
TIL Rome once had an empress.
Empress-consort rather than empress-regnant, I’m afraid. She was Julia Domna, wife of emperor Septimus Severus and accompanying him on his attempt to bring the north of Britain under his control
That said, there absolutely were empresses-regnant of the Byzantine empire, and there’s no reason to consider that a separate entity. Irene Sarantapechaena and about four or five others absolutely were ruling Roman empresses
TIL. Did the Greeks get less patriarchal over time? In the classical era they were Taliban-tier and complained they even had to see women.
I’m afraid I am completely unqualified to answer this beyond that Irene’s reign was a very messy one, ending with a rebellion against her. Her own son (the legal heir to the throne for who she was originally just regent) also rebelled against her earlier, and she had his eyes put out. It seems to me like Irene specifically was just absolutely ruthless enough to get past whatever societal rules may have been levelled against her
That checks out for Scotland.
I had to look that up, it’s just too good to pass.
(Cassius Dio, contemporary historian) tells us that the empress teased her companion (the wife of Argentocoxos, a Caledonian chief) by saying that Caledonian women indulge in a sexual free-for-all, sharing their beds with different men while making no attempt to conceal their adultery. To a respectable aristocratic lady like Julia, such brazen promiscuity would indeed have seemed worthy of comment. We then see the wife of Argentocoxos swiftly responding with what Dio calls ‘a witty remark’ of her own:
“We fulfil the demands of nature in a much better way than do you Roman women; for we consort openly with the best men, whereas you let yourselves be debauched in secret by the vilest.”
A bit further below, however
The consensus view among present-day historians is that he simply invented the speech quoted above.
Sauce - https://senchus.wordpress.com/2019/08/14/julia-and-the-caledonian-women/
The US newspaper billionaire William Randolph Hearst owned enough of congress that he started a war with Spain.
“You provide the pictures and I’ll provide the war”
