May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!
You are a monster.
May your toilet seat be forever frozen.
May your toilet paper forever tear lengthwise.
Or oddly hot… like someone’s only just finished a 15 minute blow out
You son of a bitch.
I’m in.
May you start every sentence with “Like,”
Like whyd you have to do that? Like its so annoying!
Scoob!
May you get the hiccups every time you need to be calm or confident.
May your day be as pleasant as you are.
Your socks will never feel dry again.
Just one sock. And it switches when you start to get used to it, like a plugged nostril.
Hey! I wanted to say this. 😡
To me? 😦
No, just to all the cursed people.
May you step in dog shit every day and be oblivious until it’s pointed out by someone else.
Get a tax bill
I hope you step on a lego block
That is violent…very violent
May the other side of your pillow be always warm.
An arch cramp for 2 minutes every day at a random time.
or a jaw cramp.
Ideally while you need to explain something important
Ooof. Or that thing in your chin just under your tongue.
yup, that’s the one!
I hate those cramps. They are the worst
You mean this spasm pain in the foot? Damn, they are annoying!
May one shoelace be permanently tighter than the other just enough to be annoying.
Wow, you are a particular kind of cruel.
How does that work for shoes without laces?
They get incurable cancer
Already have it, your curse has failed.
Every liquid product that you try use (glue, shampoo, toothpaste, etc) will be clogged with the dried product requiring a small pick to clear the clog before use.
May your taint be rubbed raw every time you exercise, no matter how well manicured it may be.
NSFW: The latest Oglaf is relevant: https://www.oglaf.com/flypaper/
