I’m actually not serious…

    • BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      edit-2
      6 months ago

      It’s a bidet that forces you to scrub your own ass to clean it instead of the superior ones that simply power-wash the dingle-berries and shit crust with mild water pressure to clean your ass without having to risk getting pink-eye.

    • stoly@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      edit-2
      6 months ago

      You squat over it. There’s a knob that changes it from the faucet to a sprayer. You get the temperature right and squat over it, then turn the knob. A glorious stream rises towards your buttocks as if it were a chariot carrying you to the heavens. You wash your bits, give it a good shake, and go about your day. Optionally keep a towel for drying.