For me, a random sales guy took the cake when he introduced himself as “Chief Innovation Evangelist”.
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Pornography Historian
I really want the job of “head receiver,” like Jerry here.
Nobody gonna bring up “fluffer”?
I saw a job at an abbatior for a “first boner”. I knew what they meant and it was still funny.
Futurologist
I know that is used for someone who generally has a good enough grasp on science and technology to make rough approximations of what could happen as those fields progress, but it sounds like a fancy term for a psychic.
I’m switching my LinkedIn title to Futuronomist to avoid this kind of mixup
My ancestor (born circa 1720) was a matchstick saleswoman. Her name was Gillette, same as the razor brand. I try to live up to her legacy
Not me but a buddy of mine was a “Cheese Monger”. I always found that one pretty funny.
Also when I was in high school, I was going through a book of prefessions in “Careers” class and I found “Chick Sexer”. Heh… Heheh… Chick Sexer.
I was looking for a new job recently and found a listing for Part-time Manhole Cover Inspector. Was tempted to apply, but I was not qualified.
My younger brother had a summer job in high school as a worm farmer.
Maybe this doesn’t count but… I once had a manager who had “Master of All He Surveys” on his business card.
We didn’t get a long too well.
What is he secretly Lord Zedd or something?
“Photographer nose itcher” is one that comes to mind.
It’s not that the rationale doesn’t make sense (imagine trying to concentrate a camera and suddenly being itchy and wishing you had someone scratch you so you don’t have to unconcentrate your camera so you can free a hand in order to itch the itchy part), but imagine a second person following you around for that purpose in particular, like a photographer’s equivalent to the Piss Boy.
I’ve taught Sex Ed in high school
I’ve been a topless waiter (I’m a dude, sorry)
And a stilt walker, and magician, and balloon twister
And I was paid to stilt walk in a library singing The One Pound Fish song as part of an art installation
Does that count?
A former colleague had the title “Project Professional”.
As you can tell, he was good at doing projects, just not at doing anything in those projects.
If I remember reading some old Mac magazine correctly, Guy Kawasaki’s official job title at Apple was “Intergalactic Evangelist”.
In my first company an intern that updated our webpage from time to time was our Internet Content Manager.
A good line from a video about a cancelled game jam documentary: “Matti was hired as a Pepsi Consultant, a job title less dignified than Human Trafficker”
