Wtf
WFH
While at your desk make direct and sustained eye contact in silence. Once you know you have him gently say “poop poop” then violently shit yourself. Everything is about shitting, except shitting. Shitting is about power.
Everything is about shitting -> Power is about shitting
Power is about shitting -> shitting is about power
Repeat
I’m not sure you’d win. This is a man with decades of Pavlovian training, who can literally fart on command given the right keyword. It’s a pretty wild gamble to assume that “poop poop” is not in his repertoire.
The moment you hear that third Saiyan “POOOOP” and realize you’ve woefully miscalculated.
Are you sure it’s not the other way around? Maybe he just says toot toot to be sure it’s not a turd arriving…
I’m pretty sure the oncoming fart triggers the “toot toot”, not the phrase triggering a fart. However you may be correct about the pavlovian aspect.
Heres what you do - go to the bank today, get $50 in pennies…
Dominance is the key
this whole thread, I’m crying
I learned to dab while sneezing back when the meme wasn’t dead yet. I got so used to it, that I do that to this day. At least my palms are clean
I learned to sneeze like that long before dabbing was a thing and it wasn’t until someone commented that I just dabbed on them that it connected those dots.
Regardless, I still sneeze in my elbow.
Haha, I thought I was the only one!
I started doing it to annoy my wife, but now I still do it, and it’s taking considerable concentration to not dab when I sneeze.
I’d honestly ask them if they’d seen a doctor about that. No one should be that gassy on a regular basis.
All I do is fart. Except during the times when I’m holding in my farts so I can keep living among society. But even then I’m just quietly belching under my breath. All I am is gas. Held together in the loose shape of a man by the surface tension in a bubble of cheeseburger grease and the force of my will to eat another. Just one more. My urine is carbonated.
.
Are you me? I gas my poor boyfriend every day. I’ve just come to accept it at this point.
We dont talk about the mythical fourth toot.
There’s blood in that one.
Japan is still recovering from the last two
I literally laughed so hard I cried.
Dude, if my boss did this, I would never recover. I think I would laugh until I asphyxiated myself.
I laughed so hard I legit farted.
Did you say “toot toot” first?
I am not that advanced as of yet, I will work towards this though!
I didn’t laugh, but I shat myself to compensate.
I chuckled softly and did a mild burp.
Fight fire with fire.
I had a female employee come to me to complain years ago. She had had a disagreement with an older male employee (thankfully not mine) some weeks prior, and since then, every time he walked by her cube, he’d pause at her doorway, fart, and then keep walking without saying anything.
She at least was aware of how absolutely ridiculous it was, but legitimately didn’t think it was something she should have to deal with. One of the stranger management issues.
Pretty textbook workplace harassment but I’m not sure how you’d prove it. Tape him with a clearly displayed fart face? Be sure to label one of stills with a red circle and a line saying “fart face”
She wasn’t interested in suing, she just wanted him to stop farting in her doorway. I didn’t know the guy, so I started by talking to his manager, who talked to the guy. Sounds like he initially tried to deny it, but in a way that made it clear he was doing it on purpose. His boss was pretty clear that it wouldn’t be tolerated and it never happened again.
Some people are so weird and petty.
Some people never emotionally mature past 5 years old. Only sounds like something a kindergartener would do.
Agreed, and it’s sad. I mean, I work at a highly technical engineering company. Everyone has at least a BS, and this guy was probably in his 60s with 30+ years of experience. Yet here he was repeatedly farting by a woman because they had a disagreement. It shows you that age and education don’t guarantee maturity.
I don’t know which one was right or wrong, but my god… that’s legendary level, hilarious passive aggression.
He may have felt (edit: finally) comfortable around her . . .
I said “beep beep.”
I’m a sheep
Toot-o-meter.
Well, next time I need to fart while lecturing I know what I’m doing…
Keep your distance?
Straight up Beetlejuiced a nasty fart into existence.
It was, in fact, showtime.
Test toot!
Ah really?! I can smell it from here!
It’s impacting my morale and performance
I can’t think of a funnier sentence if I tried
