Oh yeah, my cats going to have a field day with that.
scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch
Nice, that might last my wife one, maybe two days.
The secret is a bidet. Much cleaner and suddenly I spend a third on toilet paper compared to before (you still use some for drying and checking).
RIP your plumbing.
I just have a garbage disposal at the bottom of my toilet. I turn it on before flushing for the “bigger deposits” 🌀
Oh so now people are too privileged to have a poopknife around?
Get you some class
Every once in a while I get a Uline catalog sent to me.I have looked at that same sort of industrial Jumbo roll. Very tempting.
If it’s the uline jumbo rolls my work gets… Please don’t.
Your asshole will thank me
Does it flake like a French pastry?
The toilet paper or his asscheeks?
I only wipe my ass with croissants to keep my cheeks buttery smooth
I’m fairly certain those words have never been uttered in that order in the entirety of human history. Bravo.
Nor should they ever again.
It’s a terrible day for Canada, and therefore the world
Is it the high gloss stuff, or the 80 grit option?
Plus side, it’s basically impossible to clog your toilet with that stuff. It’s effectively pipe grease.
You just gotta keep using it until your anus naturally builds up callouses.
My wife keeps telling me that…
Why? What is she planning for your anus that requires callouses? You should inquire. That sounds suspicious!
Just know that she won’t answer and I’m scared.
I rarely physically shudder from text
I think this is the worst thing I’ve ever read
Thank you, and you’re welcome.
What a terrible day to have eyes.
I too try to only shit on company time
They’re called union shits around here. Even if you’re not in one lol.
Also combine shitty to with expensive bidet. Best of both worlds.
If you don’t use a bidet, your butthole is already calloused. I learned this the first time I pooped in a normal toilet after getting my bidet.
My old work ordered everything from uline, and I started bringing in my own TP specifically because of how awful it is to use that tissue paper.
Legitimately feels like tissue paper that people stuff gift bags with.
But at the same time, almost slippery.
And you WILL know if you creased the paper the wrong way, because it WILL stab at you with the force of ten thousand teeny tiny needles.
Try a bidet first. I still use TP to dry off the wet, but way less TP.
Wouldn’t that get absolutely covered in shit particles by the time you get to the middle?
Yeah you don’t want shit in your shit
what, do the shit particles BURROW through the outer layers of paper? you’re only ever getting one flush worth of shit particles unless someone in your house is shitting without wiping.
Do you see the large side of that huge roll? And you do understand that toilet paper is absorbent, right?
yeah, it absorbs liquids quite well because of surface tension and the capillary effect. are you under the impression that individual particles of shit are ducking and weaving their way all the way to the center of that roll from the outside edges?
Ass wipes to ass wipes, flush to flush 🤷
Everything in your house is covered in shit particles. Best just not to think about it.
And many more things along with shit.
I’m no germaphobe but the increased exposure time of that roll does disturb me. A normal roll gets maybe two dozen flushes or so before running out, that jumbo roll is being showered with hundreds of flushes.
I mean, do you keep your toothbrush in the bathroom? Lol
No. My place has a closet right outside of the bathroom and we have 90% of our stuff in there.
Fair enough! I’ll take my poo particle covered toothbrush and go
and bugs climb out from the root of the eyelash follicles and eat your skin at night, when they crawl back in to lay eggs
What happens at your house?
Haven’t seen the Mythbusters episode eh?
To be fair 1 flush with the lid open and you’d get a nice particulate smattering on everything.
so what is it from?
His work’s supply cabinet.
Rock on, man.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/1883864828
Charmin Forever Roll
you da real mvp
If you can fit it on your roll holder why wouldn’t you? That’s just good sense right there
Garbage toilet paper found often at the workplace. People especially poor in money and/or taste will sometimes use it in their homes.
Someone’s university has Ch751 locks on their toilet roll dispensers, and is missing a roll…
This is the lock picking lawyer and what I have for you today really wipes out the competition.
It sure ain’t my university. Nobody wants to steal sandpaper so thin it rips before you even look at it
“You can’t spare one square!?”
I don’t have a square to spare!
Well, is it two-ply? If it’s two-ply I’ll take one-ply, one measly ply.
I mean if it’s cheap I would definitely do that too
Shitting in bulk i see.
Taking shit seriously around here
Shopping in bulkStealing in bulk
💯he stole that from a public bathroom
If it’s a public bathroom are you actually stealing from it?
Yes. Same as if he took the toilet home with him.
But it’s public property.
Yeah, the person has removed the public property from the ‘public’ and made it a private property.
Public property means owned by the public, not “free item”. If you make it private it is stealing from the public.
You use it like a knife-sharpeners’ wheel.
Behold! The UTIcontractinator!
For the poop knife?
