NevelioKrejall

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 13th, 2023

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  • Mine isn’t this bad, but I can relate to the first-day-on-Adderall thing. It was wild when I walked into my messy bathroom an hour after that first dose and my brain just went: “It is possible, even reasonable for you to clean this bathroom, in a finite amount of time, without every moment filling you with dread. This task will not consume your whole life day.” My brain had simply never done that before. I could just choose to do something and–perhaps more importantly–to stop doing something. I remember I was hyperfixating working on a hobby project at 11 PM on a work night and my brain went: “If you stop working now, brush your teeth and go to bed, this fun project will still be here for you to work on tomorrow. You don’t have to keep at it until 6 AM and then go to work without sleeping.” That seemed like such a foreign concept at the time. It was weird to hear that from my own brain, not in a “you’re being bad” way, but in a “it’s going to be okay” way. There was a lot of happy crying those first few weeks.

    Just wish I’d been diagnosed in college instead of in my mid-30s. I might have graduated.

    People like to throw around the word ‘lazy’ but it’s more like I can’t turn it on OR off unless I’m medicated. Once I’m in the zone I will work until I grow a beard, then wither away, then my crumbling skeleton grows a beard. It would be a powerful thing if I could aim it.




  • I get that OC can mean lots of things, but I think most people in this thread are willfully misunderstanding you because of preconceived biases about original characters being ‘childish.’

    I will instead attempt to engage in good faith. Here is an original character I conceived for a Star Control D&D game I ran. Archivist Ryll Archivist Ryll (pictured at right) is an Yllk who joined the crew after they performed a mission to help him study an anomalous neutron star. He is pragmatic and cheerful, and always game to help out, but dislikes authority figures. He lost his rear legs in an accident involving IDF (interdimensional fatigue). He is shown here in the epilogue of the campaign in his capacity as archivist, assisting with the official documents as the Alliance of Free Stars signs a formal cease-fire with the VUX Admiralty after the Battle of the Sa-Matra and subsequent dissolution of the Ur-Quan Hierarchy of Battle Thralls.



  • I recognize and sympathize with the energy of this comment. I have also had a medical setback recently that is making it really hard for me to exercise. I had a tumor removed and they took my thyroid out with it, and something is not right with the replacement meds. It is tough to make people understand just how awful it can be to feel exhausted and irritable and confused every single day. What happened to you sucks, and it isn’t fair, and it’s okay to not be okay with it. For what it’s worth, I hope your bone does grow back.






  • I think there are different kinds of violent fantasies. I imagine all kinds of violent stuff in an unrealistic action movie kind of way, with exploding heads and disembowelment and all that (I run D&D games lol). I got worried that I might be dangerous. Then, one time I tried to vividly imagine the actual real world consequences of hurting a real person that I knew, and I couldn’t get any further than imagining the pained, betrayed look on their face before I had to hit the eject button. That brief exercise fucked me up for weeks afterward, but it was pretty reassuring. In the long run. I think I’m the schmuck in the horror movie that chokes when it comes down to actually firing a gun at someone and gets killed for hesitating, and honestly I think I’m okay with that.