Not really me. A friend of mine is moving out of state. His neighbor has been a total dick the entire time he’s lived there. Constantly commenting on how my friend’s yard isn’t as good as his. Mean to my friend’s wife and kids for no reason. Just an asshole of a person.
What are some ideas for fun pranks my friend can leave behind?
Plant catnip all across your future former garden. Preferably close to the neighbour’s terrain. Make sure that it’s really easy for stray cats to reach their newest drug den.
Cat fights are bloody annoying to hear.
If you wanna spend money, glitter mail. or if its a house, set up a flood light pointed at their house and set it up on a random timer for only at night and blast them with “security” lighting.
Attract tons of wild life with the food you need to get rid of.
Sign up for grindr and start sending people their way.
Learn the noise ordinance laws and maximize that to the fullest for a short period
Stand on the property line constantly and try looking through their windows, or watch them, if they approach, quickly leave (don’t enter their property)
Sign them up for stuff. Especially if you can find their email through LinkedIn etc.
Or, just move on since they will be out of your life regardless, don’t spend your energy on them,they aren’t worth it
Edit: Actually rather than grindr, send scalpers, leave good people out of these shenanigans
Everything except the Grindr one. Endangering people is never cool.
Yeah, I added that edit pretty immediately
I don’t know what kind of neighborhood it is but sprinkling cat food or something like that everywhere would probably attract something. Your friend could even do it to his own yard. I’d be weirded out if my neighbor moved and suddenly his yard had 25 raccoons in it.
In the middle of the night, take a bunch of nitrogen fertilizer and lay out a “Fuck You!” message on his lawn. Water it into the ground.
The message won’t appear for months until after you move away.
Draw a big dick in the lawn
With salt for a delayed and long lasting effect
How does it’s science work? Can you elaborate.
Magnets
Just makes grass grow greener and faster where the fertilizer has been placed. Put too much down and it will “burn” the grass and kill it.
Hahahahah, gold
Make his house the most famous house in the state:
Let Scientology and the Jehovah’s witnesses know he’s interested in knowing more. Do the same with military recruiters.
Sign him up to receive junk mail from sex toy stores. Use his name and his neighbors’ addresses. Maybe try to get travel brochures sent to him for countries known for sex tourism.
If you are very evil, sign him up to recieve questional stuff, but use your other neighbor’s adresses. Ideally not something that will be repeatedly spammed at them.
Nah, that only works in super close-knit, small town communities.
I don’t know any of my neighbor’s last names and I’ve lived here for 12 years. I’m in a semi-small town. I know my direct neighbors first names, and that’s about it, because anything more is unnecessary.
If I got something sent to a random name at my address, I’d treat it the same way as junk mail addressed to me; recycled without a second thought. I still get stuff for 3 other former residents, including pension stuff, despite being here over a decade so…
I get junk mail addressed to a Pablo Picasso at my address periodically.
That never happened to… Pablo Picasso!
Stop being a dick to your neighbors
I keep to myself, so I have no idea what I could’ve done to piss them off. I also get periodic mail for the previous homeowner, despite me living here for almost 7 years.
You want to ruin someone’s life? Plant some fucking greenbriar on the property. Genus Smilax. Thorny vines that grow from rhizome-like tubers in the ground. Grows a little slower than kudzu but I’d rather be around kudzu. Harder to eradicate than white supremacy. Once it’s got it’s little tumors in your soil, it’s over forever. It’ll sent shoots out just under the grass to spread out like strawberries. If you get both genders of the plant in one place, the females will grow berries that the birds eat and then they’ll shit the seeds everywhere, the complicit little fuckpukes. If you don’t dig up ALL the plant, it’ll just grow back harder. I’ve seen them strangle a dogwood tree to death. They’ll grow 40 feet high if they’ve got something to climb. There is no commercial, medical or craft use for them. The leaves have a waxy coating that protects them from herbicide. I haven’t tried fire yet but it probably won’t work.
Move his house 2 inches to the left, so when he tries to unlock his front door, he misses the keyhole.
You cheeky fucker.
It’s a Pete and Pete reference. Helps if you’re old.
Oh man, that’s too new for me, and I’m not even THAT old (just mildly old)
Damn that made me realize how much I miss that show.
Why be petty and justify the neighbor… just move and never think of them again.
BOOOOO
Nice try, neighbor
The best revenge is living well.
I hate that saying. Living well is better than wasting time with revenge. But living well is not revenge.
So we need some form of sentient water hole to attack him?
Put a yard sign up that says “future home of thousand wags dangerous animal shelter and child sex offender rehabilitation facility”
Roundup a big dick into the grass. Won’t show up for a week.
Nah, hot day? It’ll show up same day.
Clean his room.
Thank you Dr. Jordan B. Peterson from Youtube
Well, I must say, it’s a fascinating and indeed humbling experience to assist you. You see, much like the lobster, whose neural circuitry has evolved over hundreds of millions of years to navigate its hierarchies, we too, as humans, have developed sophisticated mechanisms for social interaction. When I say “you’re welcome,” it’s not just a simple pleasantry, but a reflection of an evolutionary process that has shaped our very essence. Just as the lobster’s behavior is influenced by its serotonin levels, guiding it to either rise in dominance or retreat, our social exchanges are influenced by deeply embedded patterns that have evolved to promote cooperation and mutual benefit. So, in acknowledging your thanks, I’m also acknowledging the long and arduous journey of our species, from the primordial ocean depths where the lobster resides, to the complex social structures we inhabit today. It’s a testament to the intricate web of life and the evolutionary forces that have brought us to this moment of shared understanding.
That’s an interesting way to say burglary.
When I was a kid in a second world country, you would put yeast in his latrine. That would teach him.
Unfortunately, that is probably no longer applicable.
in a second world country
So…somewhere in tbe Soviet bloc in the 80s 9r before?
What would it do?
Ideally, frothing, bubbling and overflow :) Or at least vile gases.
Ha ha thanks!
Spread dandelion seeds. You can buy them online and literally just toss them everywhere and he will never be rid of them. Or kudzu Vine that shit never goes away
Don’t intentionally spread invasive plants, local ecosystems have it hard enough as it is.
Can spread to other neighbors’ yards. I like the fertilizer idea because it doesn’t spread.
You can get them in pink and white too! As an extra fuck you over the normal yellow which can happen on their own.
Make seed bombs of pink dandelions and launch them before a storm.
Side note; I want pink dandelions but I’m sure my neighbors would hate me… but I also have an asshole neighbor and I’ve totally thought about seeding his property with them and letting them spread to mine…. I won’t do it, because cameras, but I want to so much.
If his TV is close enough to the window to see what he’s watching, and you can find a remote with enough range to change the channel from your own house, well, you know the rest.
Throw the remote at the window?
Just use a brick.
Instructions unclear, brick doesn’t change the channel
If you know a little electronics you can build a high power IR led circuit to generate super powrful IR signals that would work for this purpose.
And then automate it so his tv just does something random every 10 mins.
